Thursday, December 27, 2007

AVP2 DVDA

I don't think that the movie studios have gone far enough in their regurgitating and combining old ideas to make "new" movies. Alien Versus Predator 2 Requiem is trying hard. They have the characters from Alien and Predator in a sequel. I think they should have taken it a step further and included another movie. This would add a new plot and genre to the mix. I present to you the finest in mash up sequels: Alien Versus Predator 2 Requiem for a Dream

In this movie the Alien and Predator are friends and then they get hooked on drugs. They fight a little and pawn each other's televisions for drugs. Then the Predator wants to fit into a red dress to go on a game show. He starts losing a ton of weight and eventually runs out of money. The Alien just loves to shoot hot drugs. Eventually Alien also runs out of money. Then they hear about this dealer who will give them drugs, but he doesn't need money. He needs them to put on a show for his friends at a party. Before you know it the Alien is ass to ass with the Predator with nothing between them but a lubed up black dildo.

I hope everyone had a merry christmas.

Props to Tony J for giving me the spark to come up with this great screenplay.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Interesting?

Someone seems to think that something interesting has happened to me in the past week. I'm thinking that might be debatable.

I did think of a dream date, Picture this:

Special Lady/Man Friend walk into your house.
It's a warm 89 degrees to encourage clothes coming off.
You have a 4 pack of Bartles & James Wine Coolers chilling in a Silver Ice Bucket. (Substitute Seagram's if you must).
You have a bowl of freshly popped pop corn waiting on the bearskin rug (For a sensual touch add gravy to the popcorn. Gravy is nature's aphrodisiac.).
You look up to the flat screen plasma and you see the menu screen for "The Little Mermaid" Director's cut.
Hit Play and watch the evening come to you.


I think that's all I got. I'm busy at work and I sleep when I get home.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

For the love of Vodka



So this guy in Germany didn't know about all of the recent regulations about how much liquid you can take on board a plane. I think he dealt with the situation in the right way and the way I like to think I would have handled it. He had an entire bottle of Vodka that he was trying to bring on the plane. They told him he would either have to throw it away or pay extra to have his bag checked. He decided to choose option 3 and chug the entire bottle and be hospitalized and miss his flight. I think that this describes how I handle most situations. I am too cheap to do something the easy way, and my cheap solution usually ends up costing more in the end. I'm so great.


So Lambert's was pretty great this Saturday. We ate lots of food, played some Simpson's Pinball and read some hilarious Conservative Christian Magazines that tried to disprove evolution. Oh and then we got to do something I always wanted to do and spend 3 hours walking around the Sears in Cape Girardeau. My dream was realized because our new car broke down and we had to get a new alternator. It actually didn't end up being that bad of a time, but I hate cars.



Friday, December 7, 2007

I think I might be pregnant

So last night in bed I got an awful charley horse. I still can't walk without pain today. I looked on wikipedia to see what I could do to avoid another one and it turns out that they are common during pregnancy. That blows. My leg hurts and I might have triplets.

Bacon and Trees


I'm not sure why exactly, but they put up this Christmas tree in Madrid that is all Pac Man. Who is going to get me one? I would also accept a plane ticket to Spain.
I have a busy weekend coming. Tomorrow the gang and I are driving to Sikeston, MO for lunch at Lambert's House of Throwed Rolls. It is a long drive for some great food, but it is going to be great. I pretty much go there every time I am on Hwy 55. That does not happen often now that I am not a travelling man. The only bad part about driving 2 hours to get to Sikeston is the ride back after we are stuffed with food. Hopefully I don't have to drive. www.throwedrolls.com
We have the big Barbershop Chorus Christmas concert to go to at night (starring my very own father), then we are taping some Ultimate Fighting to watch later. Oh yeah, Sunday I'm going to support my friend Megan's crafting career at the rock and roll craft show. I went to one a few years ago and it was pretty cool. Unfortunately I probably can't buy anything because I don't have any actual money, just credit cards. www.rocknrollcraftshow.com
I'm hoping that my Lambert's and Craft show sponsorship checks start coming in soon.
Just an observation from watching too many movies on cable: Zombie Honeymoon is not as great as it sounds.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Don't go to the Mall

Did you hear about that shooting in Omaha? I've been to that mall. I guess Omaha should move over St. Louis on the list of most dangerous cities eh?

I really need to go work out after work, but there is a winter weather advisory at 6. I think I am just looking for excuses to get fat again.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

The Royale

I enjoy The Royale on Kingshighway. I have been there many times before, but I hadn't eaten there before last week. Now I ate there again last night. It is so good my mouth waters just thinking about it. I got a Kingshighway Burger with Blue Cheese and sweet potato chips. Damn it is good. We also celebrated our friend Jeremy's 30th birthday. Earlier in the day Josh text messaged Jeremy with this birthday greeting: Happy Barfday Poindexter

I think that is the best thing I could ever hope to hear on my next birthday.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Responsibility

I am usually a pretty responsible type of guy. Sometimes, like today, I am not even capable of choosing what to eat. All I chose to eat today was a 14" Bacon and Pepperoni pizza, 10 toasted ravioli and two pieces of cheese garlic bread. It was tasty, but I think I could have done a little better job.

Right now I am listening to a couple of Leonard Cohen songs that I got off of iTunes. I had $3.24 left on a gift card from last Christmas that I thought I should use. I already have a bunch of Leonard Cohen music from when he was a lot younger and his voice was less dark and gravely. I do enjoy that stuff, but I also have a special place in my heart for the later stuff.

I was thinking earlier today that it would be funny if I decided to learn a new language and discovered that my dogs knew a bunch of tricks, but only in the new language I learned. It might be possible for Wicket because she was rescued from the mean streets. I like to think that she escaped from a Russian gulag and took a carnival cruise to the US (I am referring to the United States and not US weekly).

Let's see. Oh I saw No Country for Old Men at The Moolah on Friday night. I definitely enjoyed it. It was a cool idea for a story and the characters were flawed and interesting. I can't decide if I like the fact that there wasn't a real climax in the movie or not, but overall it was a good one. I also fulfilled my lifelong goal of seeing every Coen brothers movie that has been released. I also watched The Big Lebowski in bed this morning.

On the home front I am excited because we are done putting down our bamboo floors. Hooray!! There is still a lot of little stuff to do, but it feels good to make progress. We even got done in time on Saturday to watch the terrible Mizzou game.

Thursday and Friday's Internet theme was "titties." Jessica filled out one of her many myspace surveys and commented that her titties were her best feature and then Dan OB made his titties hurt from pumping too much iron. Oh and there is a lot of pornography on the Internet. I thought I would add that last one to hammer the theme home.

The internets told me that it was Eric Elz's birthday today. I called him but he didn't answer as usual. I like to think that he doesn't answer because he is in a Russian gulag.

Keep your eye on the prize.