Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Don't talk to people, you will regret it

I put my lunch in the microwave today and as I was doing so I noticed that this lady was putting some popcorn in the other microwave. We are having "Cardinals" day or something at work so they actually had free popcorn downstairs. I told her before she started up her popcorn about the free popcorn. She told me that she didn't like that popcorn. So I jokingly called her a popcorn snob. She then proceeded to tell me all of the kinds of microwave popcorn that she liked over the years. Her favorites were Orville Redenbacher's Cheese and Caramel where you squeezed the caramel on top of the popcorn. Then she told me about her experiences at a baseball game last year. I usually regret talking to people I don't know. This case was no different. At least I didn't have to clean her poop out of a urinal:

Not a Surprise

You know what is Fucked up but not surprising in any way?

There are giant factories in China mass producing "Free Tibet" Flags.

So if you really are behind a cause, you probably should just use your mouth and words instead of buying stuff to show what a great person you are. You might just end up supporting the thing you are against in the first place.

Oh well, you can't win.

I just booked our flights to Omaha for a wedding in May. Hooray for leaving the state of Missouri. It looks like my trip to Colorado won't happen in May like I wanted, but I'll get over it. I do have a free round trip ticket that I have to use before July so entice me to come to your city, as long as it is within the continental United States. The biggest cause of the cancelled trip is that Casey got another promotion at work. I swear that she is going to own that place one day. I hope that she will make more money than me one of these days so I can retire at 30 just like I always wanted.

I am a basketball lover even though all of my friends hate it. The NBA playoffs are pretty disappointing this year though. It is pretty sad when the most exciting game is one involving the Atlanta Hawks.

Try hugs and drugs.

Monday, April 28, 2008


So Casey and I went to the Coachella Music Festival in California in 2004. It was pretty great and we camped in Joshua Tree State Park and wandered around a lot. Coachella might have been on its way to not cool then, but now it is official because Paris Hilton was there this year. Its a shame that now it will be like everything else.

There is this song I heard on a commercial last week and I sing the beginning part in my head any time there is any quiet time. Let's do an experiment to see if it happens to you. It is like a poem set to music. I haven't actually listened to the whole song, so hopefully it doesn't turn into some underage sex Nazi propaganda video, but I'm too lazy to screen it for you. I am not endorsing its message I am just passing it along.

Congrats to Jamie who had her Canadian Weed Smoking baby on 420. His name is Oscar which is a name I can get behind.

We went to Grant's Farm on Saturday which was pretty fun. Casey got the Donkey to make a lot of noise at her. We didn't get to eat any kettle corn which pisses me off, but I'm semi over it.

I am at my lowest weight since 2002: 199 lbs

I got nothing else. I played BioShock for approximately 12 hours this weekend.

Friday, April 18, 2008


I am in a bad mood, but I'm not sure why. I just feel like being sour today.

So thanks for voting in the Roller Derby poll, but Casey is ungrateful and she refuses any of the names. Interesting side note: I was able to make a Mr. Belvedere joke yesterday because Bob Uecker is the play by play guy for the Brewers. I was at the baseball game. I think that means it is fate that Casey should be Mrs. Belvedere. Oh well.

We had an earthquake this morning. It was the first one I have ever felt. I was like I imagined it would be.

I went to bootcamp class here at work on Tuesday. I got through it, but it kicked my ass in a major way. It has hurt to walk ever since. I think I am a glutton for punishment because I have to go to another class 2nite.

I find new ways to lose faith in humanity every day.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

No Respect

Since no one seems to care that I poured my heart out with a huge Crime & Punishment like post a couple days ago, I added some spicy new elements to the blog. I put a picture of me eating Ice Cream which is usually a fan favorite and I put a couple of links up.

Today started off really good because in the car on the way to work I heard both Warren G's Regulate and Rump Shaker by Wrex n Effect. Then I got out and remembered that it was cold and rainy. I wanted to sit in my car all day and listen to 100.3 the Beat.

I am playing a lot of Bioshock on the XBOX 360. It is awesome. I would explain it, but you probably don't care.

It is getting down to crunch time for picking a roller derby name for Casey. I need some help. Here are some more I came up with yesterday:

Candy Stryper (like the Christian Metal Band)
Seizure Salad
Danzig with the Stars
Deaddy Ruxpin
Barb Rammstein
Quinoa Wa Pedal
Al Gorithm
Guiller Monalisa
Mrs Belvedere
Eye Robot
Peony Express
Hillary Shanks
Cymbal of my Affection

These are pretty much all terrible, but a lot of the ones I think of are already taken.
Maybe I'll try to make a poll.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008


So the NCAA bracket that I filled out for myself was actually looking pretty good until that damn Kansas ruined it. Oh well at least I didn't lose any money. All I have to do is work the glory hole in the men's bathroom at the Arnold Ponderosa for an hour shift. I do get to keep all my tips though.

I have actually been keeping myself relatively busy lately. Some of that time has been filled with cleaning the house, doing dishes and picking up dog shit, but so it goes.

On the video gaming front I have added a new member to the family: The XBOX 360. I bought a used one from big Joe Nahm. I debated it for a long time because I certainly have better things to spend my money on, but I love video games and although the Wii is great it does not offer a lot of the games that I want to play. I already played some Bioshock last night and it is pretty awesome. I am totally stuck on Rock you like a hurricane on Hard on Guitar Hero III. I have a new idea to beat it though and then I get to battle Slash.

So I didn't run in the half marathon. I do have a t-shirt so if I wasn't so honest I could tell everyone I ran, but I am not a liar. I can bench press 1000 pounds. It was pretty disappointing to get so close to being able to do it and have to quit, but it's ok. Assuming my knee is just overused I might try again. I signed up for Boot Camp classes here at work. This trainer from the YMCA will yell at us and make us run up stairs and stuff. Hopefully that will help get/keep me in shape.

I ate pizza and drank beer last night so this morning I felt a little churning down below. Since I was about to leave for work I went to the bathroom in the basement. There is not always toilet paper in there so I was happy that I saw some on the counter. Everything went fine. The reason I talk about this is I think it would be really funny to come out with a line of life like ceramic household necessities. It would anger and amuse people at the same time. Picture this: Jeff has to really use the facilities. He runs into the bathroom and sees a roll of toilet paper on the counter so is assured he will have a comfortable time. When it is time to wipe he grabs the roll and it is ceramic. This could also work for other important items like remote controls, shots of insulin, heart medication, tampons. The list is endless. This is not nearly as funny as I thought it was this morning, but I won't delete it so you can make fun of me later.

On Friday we went to see a free show starring Bald Eagle from Columbia. I saw this band before in Madison, WI when they played with my friend Shelby's band. I loved them then and I love them now. It is nothing groundbreaking, but it has good energy and a lot of dueling guitars/fretboard Olympics (as the Shadow calls it). We bought their 2nd CD and I listened to it like 6 times over the weekend.

On Saturday we went to this strange birthday partay for my friends Megan and Kelly. They are members of the now defunct bowling team "Jeff and the Funky Bunch." Kelly's boyfriend hosted the partay and his apartment was pretty cool. It is in a rehabbed synagogue. I am a lover of cool architecture so I liked just going in and looking at the space. Kelly's boyfriend was cool and the people I already knew there were good, but we had the best time making fun of this one guy after he left. He passed out books that he had published himself to some of the people at the partay. Keep in mind that this was, I believe, a white male in his early twenties who grew up in Suburban St. Louis. The book was told as a 16 year old girl from Fulton, Missouri going before a judge trying to get an abortion. I won't go into too many details, but it was pretty priceless. I'm sure he knows what it's like to be in her shoes though. I heard his mom considered a post birth abortion with him just last week. Happy Birthday Megan and Kelly.

Did you see this story about the guy who had a heart transplant from a guy who had committed suicide? He just committed suicide himself and he was married to the first guy's widow. She must be awesome to hang out with.

Isn't it so crazy that a person with lady parts down below became pregnant. Oh wait I mean Holy shit there is a pregnant man I can't believe it. I forgot that I am supposed to only react to headlines and not look at actual facts.

I am excited because the Mrs and I might be going to Colorado for Memorial Day weekend. This would break my Missouri only streak, but I think I can handle it. Actually I am going to break my streak the weekend before that going to the Omaha wedding. I am going to be such a world traveller in May. It will be good to see Johnny, Christmas and Kevin and their new digs. Casey also hasn't been to Colorado since she was like 2 years old.

I have a rip in the front of my pants and I might have to work from home the rest of the day. I always seem to wear my pants right until they tear right off my body.