Thursday, December 31, 2009


I'll try to do better next year.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Snow Snow Snow Snow

This is Horse Pucky. Dallas has had snow and we here in Saint Louie haven't had more than 30 minutes of flurries. Omaha had a giant snow storm yesterday. I want some snow. Booooo.

So hey. I didn't finish my 50000 word novel. I will attempt to keep at it, but we shall see. I am quite busy with work lately so maybe the world novel domination will wait until February.

The funniest/most vomit producing thing I have thought of recently (posted on twitter):

@SmartyMcFly: Stayed out WAY late last night and now my eye is paying. It is being all twitchy like. Still worth it though.

@extremefajitas: You probably have Hottub eye herpes.

@SmartyMcFly: You are probably right. Come, let me rub my eye herpes on you.

@extremefajitas: I'll pass. I already drank a bunch of Hottub water last night. It is not agreeing with me.

After I posted that last part about drinking water out of a Hot Tub I wanted to throw up.

Things of note:

1. I ran a 5K on Highway 40 before it was opened to traffic. It was cold, but a lot of fun actually. I ran with Julie V. We both run at about the same pace so we were able to push each other to keep it moving. I was a little disappointed that it was way too cold to wear my Vibram 5 fingers (frogman shoes), but I made due with real shoes. I should look and see if they have special frog socks for those. Our official time was 28:30, but our actual time was 28:00. Not too shabby.

2. I had to buy a furnace because ours was 23 years old and finally stopped working. Damn them shits is expensive, but we are getting a tax credit to cover some of it. The new one is 95% efficient and works really well. It sounds a little like a jet engine, but we will get used to that I'm sure. I worked from home when they installed it and it was 42 degrees in the house all day. Even Wicket (the woolly bear dog) got under a blanket that day.

3. As a result of the furnace breaking and not being able to be installed until after the weekend we stayed at my parents house. It was nice. We hung out, went on some dog walks, etc...

4. We also went to Hermann, MO to some Xmas craft fair my mom wanted to go to. I would say that the craft fair was a bust, but it was good to go back to Hermann. I had not been there since my Grandparents died. Actually since my Grandma died in 2005. We spent a lot of time there in my life and it felt good to see it again.

5. I would say that the QPTB reunion show was a success. It was great to play music with some of my best oldest friends. By old I mean bald. Haha. (Just kidding don't take my hair away oh ye gods). It was also great to see a lot of people I hadn't seen in a while in one place. There was a lot of nice intermingling of old friends. Hopefully it didn't sound too terrible either.

Since it has been so long since my last post I could write forever, but I will not. I'm going to go sacrifice a goat to see if I can get us a blizzard.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Hey November

Man o Man it has been a while since I posted.

I just went to Chicago to see the Pixies. It was everything I hoped it could be. I am a big fan of the Aragon theatre as well. Very cool.

I have been trying to write a 50000 word novel in the month of November. It has stalled a lot and I might finish under 10000. Work and everything has picked up dramatically bringing a halt to my writing creativity. It was fun while it lasted. I'll try to keep it going.

Quants show then 2 Thanksgivings. It's going to be a hell of a week. In a good way.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Jeff became a fan of Pubic Option

My mind just went blank, but I have been thinking 'Jeff became a fan of Pubic Option' all day. I wanted to post it to facebook, but I think I added too many friends that would not appreciate my hilariousness.

It is rainy as hell and I'm going to continue to take it.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Partay Manimal

I'm kind of frightened when I look at myself. Is that unusual?

My playoff beard lasted 4 days. Maybe I won't shave until the Cardinals win again???

I have been semi social lately and it has been good. We went to Six Flags on Saturday for Chelsea's Birthday. It was a lot of fun. The Boss and the Evel Knievil rides were my favorites because they turned all the lights out and you felt like you were going to die (wooden coasters). Oh and it was like 35 degrees out.

Sunday night was the 2009 ARRG Awards Banquet/Debutante Ball. I donned the Blue Tuxedo seen above and was probably the butt of everyone's jokes, but what are you going to do? Be a square? I think not. Casey won an award, but not the coveted Best Ass award. She definitely should have won, but the winner was well deserved as well. That was a long night of drinking on a Sunday night.

2nite is The Shadow's birthday. One of the best people to be alive, but I am ditching his Lazer Tag partay to see Dinosaur Jr. I'll make it up to him later. I'm sure he'll survive without me.

The RZA is going to be on The Colbert Report tonight. Once I read that I could not get this song out of my head. I think I have posted this before, but watch it again. Until later.....

Saturday, October 10, 2009


Well I have had 2 people ask about how my doctor's appointment went. I no longer like the rest of you (even though I still think Karista only asked because she wants to harvest my organs).

Well, the MRI came back clean which is good. I also met with a Pedorthist. The consensus is that the knee pain is a symptom of my foot problems. I am getting some custom inserts made which should help (unfortunately it takes 2 weeks to get them made). I am also taking some anti inflammatory stuffs for 2 weeks before I see them again.

Sort of on the same topic, but also another.....My brother sent me a book for my birthday. I started reading it right after I opened the package which is a good sign. It is called Born to Run. It is about this tribe of people in Mexico that are super athletes, but they live in caves and huts and only eat forest droppings and corn liquor. They can run for days straight without stopping. There is a lot more to it than that, but it is very interesting so far. They also make this super drink called iskaite that was described as a combination of salmon, fish oil and human growth hormone. I might try to make it. The main ingredient is chia seeds. I might have to go to the store to get more, because I used most of them on all of my Chia Obamas. Reminder: Call Greg and thank him.

I finished the 2nd season of Dexter. Awesome. Let's see how long I can go without craving the 3rd season. My guess is not long.

I watched episodes 2 & 3 of Bored to Death this morning. I really like it. I am afraid that it will go the way of Arrested Development though. Because of this show I will start describing normal movies as pre-apocalyptic. There was also a great line about a guy's girlfriend wanting him to go on a diet. He said: "When I'm with her I'm going to eat healthy, when I'm not I'm going to eat like an American." I love it.

Thank Jebus that the rain stopped because we are supposed to go to fright fest at Six Flags tonight.

I have been hearing about a band called 'No Age'. I think I will try to check them out.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Old Old Old

I came upon the above images on a facebook page (Josh P's bro). Enjoy!!!

Today we are going to find out how truly old and dilapidated my body has become. I have had a lot of nagging pain in my feet and knees since my ill-fated attempt to run a half marathon. I went to an orthopedist last week and they determined that I have Planar Fascitis in one foot and Metatarsalgia in the other. Those should be able to be helped with some shoe inserts and stretching exercises, but I also might have a tear in my knee. I got an MRI on Friday and will get the results today. I'm hoping they don't decide to go with the amputation option. If this is all I have to complain about I guess I'm still doing pretty good.

I shaved today to get ready to grow my Cardinals playoff beard. Hopefully it lasts longer than a week because I usually only shave once a week and I don't want it to be an empty gesture.

I stayed up too late watching Dexter last night.....again.

Is anyone else still worried about Y2K?

Monday, October 5, 2009


I really need to get back on this blog train. I have actually done some cool shit lately. Ummmm yes. I went to a corn maize yesterday. It was cool, but not as exciting as the one in Pennsylvania. I think that is mostly because we thought we were going to freeze to death in Pennsylvania. I won a 6 oz mountain dew for making it out alive.

Casey (Nikki Vixxen) was on the news this morning to promote roller derby. Check it out. She is hott stuff:

Channel 2 Roller Derby

I also bought this chip for my Nintendo DS that allows me to play old NES games. I am in heaven sometimes.

Ohh. What I really have been doing is watching a lot of Dexter. I have almost watched the first 2 seasons in 1 week. I love it.

I might try homebrewing. Any thoughts?

Q: What is Red and smells like Blue Paint?

A: Red Paint

Keep your Butt in the truck!!!

Friday, September 11, 2009


This Amish guy told me that this blog sucks.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Quick Update

I wanted to write a quick update to prove I am still alive.

I don't have much to complain about. Life is good at the moment.

Some quick thoughts:

The Cardinals rule. I am going to 2 games this week.

Oregon is awesome and beautiful.

I quite enjoyed Inglorious Basterds and District 9.

My skin is stoopid and fukked (I would explain, but you really don't want to know).

I ate a donut with bacon on it.

I love you.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I'm so tired...

From doing the Ricky Bobby:

In other news, we were defeated by Madison in the Roller Derbies. It was a fun time though. Madison is great. We got to see Shelby. We also had a quick trip to Chicago to scrimmage with Chi and Philly at a skating rink on the beach of the Lake. Beautiful weather. That's all i got.

I might stop using twitter because Kid Rock says it is gay. If there is one thing i can't handle it is Kid Rock judging my sexuality based on my Internet habits. If you have any comments for Mr. Rock please email him:

Thursday, July 23, 2009

A word of advice

Don't do the following things in between tooth brushings:

1. Eating a burrito 1 hour before falling asleep sleeping on the couch
2. Going for a 1 Hour bike ride
3. Drinking milk & eating a banana
4. Drinking 2 cups of Coffee

My mouth tastes like I gargled with Dumpster juice.

Besides that things are going pretty well. I have exercised 15 times in the last 18 days, although I keep gaining weight. It is probably all in my guns.

Other things I have done in the last 18 days or so that I can remember:

1. Had a nice anniversary dinner with my lady friend at Franco. 5 Years how bout that? She liked the leopard print snuggie that I bought her as well. Did you know that the 5 year thing is leopard print snuggies. That is way more affordable than the diamond one. It is a good thing that I don't really believe in those traditions. anywho...

2. Saw some roller derby and some good folks. Then we went dancing at this place where we really didn't look like we belonged (Pepper Lounge), but we were the life of the partay so it's ok. It was connected to El Borracho which was way cooler (Mexican restaurant/bar). I will have to go there to eat at some point. These 2 establishments used to be The Side Door and The Rocket Bar respectively. That kind of freaked me out, but I got over it. Evidently there were a bunch of fights at The Pepper Lounge after we left and they had to close early. Nice....

3. Took a half day from work and saw Harry Potter. I was happy with it. Saw Sonic Youth live under the Arch for free. This was a great time and beautiful night.

4. My pappy came over and helped me fix my outside faucet (it was very leaky) and threshold to my front door. Ninja also came to play with my doggies. Oh by the way, my pappy and the Ambassadors of Harmony won the Barbershop International Competition this year. He is pretty happy. How bout that? Here is a link to their stuff:

5. Went to the ARRG car wash. Someone got kicked out for staying in their car and touching themselves during the car washing. It wasn't me.

6. Went to a baseball game and sat in the last row. I could still see very well. Saw maybe the most successful wave I have ever seen. It made it at least 5 times around the whole stadium.

7. Had a good time at Andrew's partay at The Flamingo Bowl. I bowled a 184 and 170. The 184 is my 2nd best score ever. It was fun to hang with Andrew, TH, Ash, Casey & McFly, Nick Normal, his friends (twins & Octavia) and the craziest guy I have ever met that is still sane. It was this British guy that is dating Nick's sister. He was maybe 50 years old and he was like if you took Austin Powers, added a stronger accent, more pervertedness and about 75 Red Bulls. He is someone you would have to see to believe. I think Jello said it best when he said: I spent an hour with him, but it was possibly the most entertaining hour of my life.

I am off to Madison, WI tomorrow. The Arch Rival Roller Girls are taking on the Mad Rollin' Dolls. They are ranked #19 and #20 in the nation, so it should be a good one. Also this is the first time Casey is rostered for the Travel Team. Wooooooo. She couldn't have done it without me..........bitching that she practices too much. But it has paid off and it is all good.

I thought that this was really funny until I told Casey about it: The Pie Rapes of the Caribbean

I even had a whole cartoon in my head about pirates having their way with pies.

It is not actually funny. I need to spend more time with humans. Wicket and Peanut don't have the heart to tell me when my jokes are off.

My 2 favorite smurfs are Jokey and Grouchy.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Kirksville Pics

Some weekend pictures, courtesy of Ashley

I Heart Olivia Mun

Last night I watched an Attack Of The Show Clip show featuring the best of Olivia Mun. Damn is she funny. It doesn't hurt that she is nice to look at either.

Will someone buy this for me:

I am doing ok on my goals so far today. I ran during lunch today and did a P90X workout just a minute ago. Let's see if I can stop myself from eating lots o pizza at Lemmons 2nite.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Farmageddon 2009


Sometimes paying attention to seemingly insignificant stories can pay off.

It was probably around 1am. There were only 10 or so folks left down by the bonfire at Logan's house. I don't really recall who she was even talking to, but Logan's newish ladyfriend was talking about some dog down the road that acts crazy and freaks everyone out when they drive by. There weren't many details. I think it had something to do with why she was late to something at some point. I didn't ask any follow up questions. I just thought: huh. that sounds funny, but I've never seen any crazy dog the way we usually drive in.

Fast forward to this morning as we were leaving the farm. Casey decided to drive out the opposite way that we came in. A few minutes later we come over a hill and we see this giant white dog standing on the side of the road. At this point the dog looked like most dogs would. It was just standing well to the side of the road looking at us. I told everyone that I heard a story last night about some crazy dog down the street. Just as we were coming up on it, the crazy started to happen. It walked up to our moving car as Casey slowed down a little. Then it started spinning in circles as if it were trying to knock our car over. I don't even remember if it was barking or not, because I was so surprised at its insane behavior. Luckily we avoided being headbutted by the giant loco dog and were on our way. I really wish that we would have had a dash cam like they do on COPS to capture this experience.

Anyway.....I have not posted much in a while. I have been a little down on blogging lately. I have felt a little uninteresting and it sometimes seems pointless because I also put stuff on facebook, twitter, email, myspace, you name it. I'll get over it. It is nice to sit down and pound out some thoughts every once and a while.

I have seen a lot of good people the last few days. To name a few (not including the fabulous people I see on a regular basis): DOB, Jeannie, Ricky, The Stranger, Jessica, Robtoy, Meister, Mesiter's mom, (I now wish I could meet Meister's Grandma too because she sounds hilarious), Joe & Emily, Chelsea (although she has been on our couch a lot lately), Ruthann, Logan, Claire, Ted & Christy, Dustin & ladyfriend, J.J. and Katie, and probably others that I am forgetting but it's ok because no one reads this anyway.

I have seen some good things in the last few days: Crazy dog, Casey, fireworks in downtown St. Louie, the new citygarden (which is awesome by the way), Kirksville (different but still fells like my second home).

I feel good, but I have a few goals in the upcoming days, weeks, months:

Watch The Wire and Battlestar Gallactica, Read Infinite Jest, Start living better in terms of exercise and eating (mostly eating), Plan a trip to Oregon in August, play music. I know I always have these on my list, but I have to keep writing them down until they stick.

Thanks to the Shadow for watching my dogs.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? A gang bang

Joke courtesy of Dustin.

Oh yeah and if I hear the word staycation one more time, I am going to paralyze you so you can have a permanent staycation.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

I just fell in love

With this website:

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Man tonight has been uber relaxing so far. I can not complain. I came home from work, played with the dogs a little, ate a sandwich, took a nap, watched some baseball & Into The Wild and then went on a dog walk once it wasn't balls hot out. Beautiful. Even though the guy dies at the end of Into The Wild, it still really makes you want to take off and go west for at least a few weeks.

I had a lot of fun over the weekend with the roller derbies. We drove to Evansville, IN so Casey and the St. Lunachix could take on the Demolition City Roller Girls. The venue was really cool and we kicked some ass so it was nice to demoralize the home fans. I also ate some pancake puppies at Denny's on the way home. They are like funnel cake balls covered in cinnamon & sugar and dipped in syrup. Man were they not terrible.

A word of advice for Evansville and the city government: Don't make people pay $15 dollars to go to a festival called the Freedom Festival. Especially when it is 95 goddamn degrees outside and you also block off the entire riverfront to anyone not willing to pay $15. This is one thing that St. Louis really has going for it. Free stuff to do. Festivals, parks, zoo, etc, etc, etc. I bet the VP fair or whatever it is called now makes a lot more money than the Evansville freedom festival even though there is free admission. Bad Evansville. Oh you also should do something about most of the houses in your town falling apart. There are some really nice looking houses, but 2 out of 3 had the roof caving in.

I wish I had some pictures from the trip, but our camera sucks and I need a new one. Maybe an anniversary present for us. 5 years, can you believe it?

Oh the reason I titled this post Church is because that name has been following me around the last few days. They showed Pet Semetary at Lemmons last night and the zombie cat's name is Church. There is also a guy on the Met's named Ryan Church. I also got a message from someone I used to work with in the prison food warehouse. This reminded me of this guy I used to work with in said prison food warehouse. He was quite a character. His name was Church (I'm not sure why). My favorite memory of him was when it was super hot one summer and he made a fake air conditioner out of a cardboard box and put a fan inside of it. It was heelarious.

Alright I need to go have a date with Resident Evil 5. I love you.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time

That song "falling slowly" from Once (the movie) still gives me goosebumps when I hear it. It's always good when a song can continue to do that to you. I'm a wuss what can I say.

Funniest Onion headline I've seen in a while:

Chinese Woman Gives Birth to Septuplets, Has One Week To Choose

It has been a good last few days/weeks. Some highlights:

-Hung out with Ricky, Karista and watched the Boston Strangler at work in her fancy Scottish outfit. Complete with Chuck Taylors.
-A lot of good thunder storms. You know they are good when they wake you up and your sissy dogs won't leave your side. I need a better camera to try and capture some of the cool stuffs.
-Saw the Hangover, which didn't disappoint
-Have been to the outside of the Royale 2 times in the past week, which is always nice
-Had a BBQ with The Mrs, Karista and Anne. Food was great and we sat outside all night
-Saw some fine Roller Derby and hung out with Sean & Big Ben
-Got a new monitor for my computer which is pretty sweet. 21.5 in and full HD
-Spent some time with the folks and they helped me fix my sink and get the Ice maker working
-Beat Zelda finally. It was a great game, but it took forever
-Finally turned the A/C on
-Bored anyone who reads this to death so I will stop

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Half & Half

Does anyone else think that it's fun to eat/drink food way after the expiration date?

Me too.

It's all just a marketing ploy.

In other news, can someone give me a ride to the hospital? I can't feel my spine.

Off to yard work.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Remember that time you were in Lone Wolf McQuade

David Carradine could have at least done himself in with the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique. Rip dood

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Welcome to Joon

That was a bunch of pictures from our trip to Denver. Can you believe it?

It was a good time, but it went by very fast. Thanks Johnnie and Kevin for being so hospitable.

Some highlights (in no particular order):

1. Sleeping in John and XXXmas's bed
2. Petting their cat's with a sock on my hand so I wouldn't start sneezing
3. Hiking around Red Rocks and Boulder
4. Playing some hoops
5. Catching Nuggets fever (only to be slapped in the face by the Lakers)
6. Great food (especially this Mexican place right outside of the store selling the oldest beer in town, Heidi's Deli (I know it is a chain, but it was good) and the vegetarian restaurant w/Kevin
7. Seeing a roller derby girl's dress get pulled over her head (this would have been my highlight if I wasn't too cheap to pay $20 to see Denver roller derby. This will be Casey's highlight)
8. Giant G&Ts in Mugs for $2.50
9. Botanic Gardens ***
10. No mosquitoes
11. Free form Clarinet/Piano/Guitar/Accordion/Violin jams
12. Seeing some olde friends (have you seen them lately? they really are olde)
13. Star Trek - I just bought a bottle of red matter. Who wants to partay?
14. I'm sure I'm forgetting some things, but life goes on

Since we got back it has been life as usual, although I feel a little more motivated and rejuvenated. I can't say it has amounted to much yet, but getting the mind right is a good first step. I fucking HATE mosquitoes.

We (Ben, Ashley & I) had a great debate/screen writers meeting at Lemmons on Monday. We decided the next big entry into the Supermovie genre (you know meshing big budget franchises ex. Alien vs Predator, Freddy vs Jason, Joe vs the Volcano....) is.............

Police Academy vs The Terminator (copyright 2009)

I don't want to give away any secrets, but let's just say that Mahoney is in for a hell of a ride.

Last item:

I finally went to The Pageant. It was to see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. They put on quite a show. I highly recommend them. I know that it has been open for a long time, and I used to live down the street, and I've wanted to go countless times, but I finally made it happen. Maybe I just wanted to go because it was to a sold out show and I had to work hard to find tickets at the last minute. Who knows. I called a few numbers on Craigslist at about 7 o'clock. This guy had 4 tickets, but he was also selling tickets at the baseball game downtown. He said he would take a few bucks off if we met him at Broadway and Market to make the purchase. We made the buy without getting out of our car, and I half expected to get pulled over for suspicion of buying something else. It was a strange little experience, but all was well. There were some of my friends and a bunch of Rolley Skating girls there. It was a nice place. You could see well from everywhere pretty much.

Blah Blah Blah

OOh I almost forgot about my sweet (painful) sunburn. It looks like I was wearing a sportsbra in the sun for about 7 hours. Really I just did way more yardwork than I expected while wearing a wife beater. What the hell, here you go:

That is the most skin you will ever see of me.

Pleasant evenings.

*** I don't think that you can call one thing a Botanic Garden and another a Botanical Garden and have them both be right. Who's with me? Well ok. I give up.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

One Can Dream

Man I wish I had been born in China so I could be tall too. Sun Mingming is 7'9".

Holy Shit.

Say Whatttttt???

It turns out that drinking 7 liters of cola a day is bad for you. Who would have thunk?

I guess it is good to have solid evidence to show what will happen to you if you do things like this to yourself, but is this really surprising to anyone? I bet if you drank 7 liters of fresh banana juice there would be some negative health affects as well. Do they make banana juice? If not, then why? I've seen strawberry-banana juice, but not straight up banana as far as I know.

I will try to post some pictures and exciting commentary of our trip to Denver this evening.

Can you stand to wait that much longer? Try to pass the time with this Banana juice I just found in Japan:

Monday, May 18, 2009

New Postings

I need to get a new post up here so that people don't keep getting depressed by my obituary posts. Everyone needs to think about the Donut Burgers we had a Casey's birthday partay last night. They are a happy (although body shattering) thought.

I think Casey had a good birthday yesterday so that is good. I am exhausted. We stayed out a little late on Saturday after going to Macklind Days with the doggies, drinking and playing super chex at Mamacitas and hanging out at Enya Nightmare + CJs house. Then on Sunday I had a workout and cleaned the house like all day until people started arriving for the Burger Birthday Extravaganza. I think it went well. Very laid back and relaxing.

I'm going to Denver on Thursday.

Suck a Duck.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Ed Rauss

My Grandparent count has dwindled down to zero.

My Grandpa died on Sunday. It was in his sleep which is good. He has pretty much been ready ever since my Grandma died 4 years ago. It is probably no fun to sit around not knowing what is going on and eating mush all day. My Grandma totally managed their lives. He had a lot of good jokes. I liked his more subtle jokes like when he asked you to hand him his testicles when he really meant his spectacles. Rest in Peace.

At least we'll get to spend some time with family from out of town for the next few days. That will be nice.

Rauss, Edward Gordon asleep in Jesus, Sun., May 10, 2009. Beloved husband of the late Lois Rauss (nee Beckemeier); dear father of Gordon (Donna) Rauss, Linda (Steve) Knese, Bill (Denise) and Ed (Becky) Rauss; loving grand-father of Kelly, Kevin, Amy, Jeff, Greg, Lauren, Robin, Rachel and Reba; dear great-grandfather of Taylor, Dominic, Izabella and Kameryn. Services: Funeral from KUTIS AFFTON Chapel, 10151 Gravois, Thurs., May 14, 1 p.m. Interment National Cemetery. Memorials to Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation appreciated. Visitation Wed., 4-9 p.m.

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Sunday, May 10, 2009

Check it out office fans

Look it is Phyllis from the office with me and my sister. She was just there at the roller derby match. She was very nice.

Overall a very good day. Went for a dog walk, vacuumed a shit ton of dog hair, did yoga (didn't go so well), went to the Stable for a graduation Partay, Roller Derby with a M80s victory, good times at Flamingo Bowl and The Firebird. The End.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Temporarily losing my mind

So I was really trying to motivate myself to get things done on Tuesday. It worked in my mind, but then I started to feel sick. I basically have been worthless for the last 2 days. I am feeling way better today though. This works out well because I am going to another Cardinals game today.

Back to my short sickness. I thought I was losing my mind last night. I am pretty sure I had a fever. I felt really cold and really hot from minute to minute. I took my temperature once and it was 99.2 and another time it was 88.1. I think my thermometer is broken. The thumb on my left hand and my right index finger felt numb. The night felt like it lasted forever as well. I dreamt/hallucinated that I was eating popcorn paper. This is like a notebook where you rip out the pages and they taste like buttered popcorn. I checked this morning to make sure this was not a real product. This morning I can't stop sweating although this is not out of the ordinary for me. That's all I can remember, but maybe more will come back to me.

Man King Ralph sure is an unorthodox king of England!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009



That is the best quiz I have ever taken on facebook. I can't say that my results were the most exciting (Riding a dinosaur holding a smaller dinosaur), but 3 cheers for creativity.

I am trying really hard to motivate myself not to be a lazy bastard. I think I have probably written this or something like it 100 times in the last few years. Damn I hope it sticks this time. I don't want to look back on my life and say that I did a lot of things and met a lot of great people, but mostly I just sat around and watched TV. Some people just have that drive and I need to get it. Ok thanks for listening I am going to go take a nap.

Things I need to do:

1. Fix the kitchen sink. I bought everything I need about 2 months ago but have done nothing.

2. Vaccumm the 1/2 inch layer of dog hair off of the carpet upstairs. In my defense our old vaccumm didn't pick up any hair, but I just bought a new one and hopefully it will do the trick.

3. Throw away and/or shred mail. I think I have about 8 months worth of junk mail that I have all over the house and in a giant box.

4. Figure out what to get Casey for her Birthday. I don't think I can get away with saying the Vaccum and digital food scale we just bought counts.

5. Get caught up with my P90X workouts.

6. Start getting smarter instead of dumber.

7. Start writing and/or playing music.

8. Beat Zelda.

9. Take the dogs for more walks.

10. Come up with a blog/website idea that will take the world by storm.

How would miss manners advise you to eat nachos?

I spelled vacuum 3 different ways in this message, and they were all incorrect.

Saturday, May 2, 2009


I just joined twitter. It seems pretty pointless. Like if facebook was your car, then twitter would be the windshield wipers. Oh well. I really only joined because Casey did and I have to make sure she does not write terrible things about me on the internets. I am at Be there, or use your time more wisely.

Friday, May 1, 2009


I think a lot about blogging more often, but I don't do it. I'm kind of busy at work today so today might not be the day. Things are generally good. Flight of The Conchords at the Fox last night. We could not have had closer seats. It was pretty great. Jemaine wore a Cardinals T-shirt.

I got nuttin for now, maybe more later.


Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Good Life

My workout last night kind of wiped me out. I have today off of work. I have been pretty lazy so far today. I played with the doggies. Casey is in Chicago. I got some coffee and a bagel at STL Bread Company. I learned to surf. I got my Masshysteri 7" and CD in the mail yesterday. I took a shower. I am very sweaty for no reason.

One of the above statements is false. Can you guess which one?

Today is about to be great. At least the potential is there. Ashley and I are going to eat at Pappy's BBQ and then going to see the Cardinals battle the Mets. Ida is even nice enough to drive us to the game. As long as I don't get food poisoning and it does not rain all day I will be happy.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Big Sized Video

Finally a big sized Breeders video:

You can see me at 1:03 ( sitting next to empty chair on right nana and mike (very tall) on left).

You can see me jumping at about 1:27-1:28.

You can see me shouting and pointing at 1:46.

You can see me sitting clapping at 2:05.

That is about it. Cool.

Casey is really in it a lot. Awesome.


I was walking the doggies down my street this morning and I saw 2 different refrigerators in front of 2 different houses. It was then that it dawned on me how much my street reminds me of Kirksville. This makes me happy in a lot of ways, but is probably not good for my future property value. But who cares about that shit anyway right. But seriously my street is working class (besides me who is uber riche) and there are a lot of different styles of houses. Some houses are in great shape and others not so much. There is a neighborhood bar at the end of the street with good food and cheap beer. Good times.

I had my mind set on doing a lot of yard/outside work today, but the rain is starting so I might have to give up on that. Not too disappointed.

I just ordered a Masshysteri CD and 7". They were the Swedish band I saw a few weeks back. They have really stuck in my head. I have one song that was a free download on the Riverfront times website that I have listened to about 5 times today already. Here is a link to the interview/free download. I want everyone to listen to it at least 5 times today :

I really should re-size it, but Jen (the owner of the mostly defunct Iced Coco blog) found me in the Breeders video. See above. thanks Jen!!! I am really excited about this video, but I am about the only one. I guess music videos don't have much of a purpose anymore.

I am embarrassed to say that the P90x Legs and Back workout put me out of commission for a few days. My calf muscle was so sore I thought I would die and Casey thought she would die because of my whining. I'm ready to resume working out today with the Kenpo X workout. Yeee Haw!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Breeders Video is Here

The Breeders video that was shot here in Stl on Valentine's day is finally out. I think that you could see me if you pause it and grad a magnifying glass, but oh well. I had my moments of fame in the 2 "making of" videos. The song is good and my special lady friend is in the video at least 3 times: Once coming out of a stall (I'm going to assume she was taking a dump), once knocking over the camera man with her chest, and once kissing Grave Danger on the cheek. Good stuff. Here it is:

Last night was a terrible night for the Cardinals so I'm glad this video came out this morning.

I was a lazy bum last night, so here's to me waking the fuck up today.

Monday, April 13, 2009


I think that people who comment on news stories on the internet are terrible.

Had some delish Peruvian food on Friday for Annas Bidet on Friday. Blues got into the playoffs which is a cool thing. Helped my Pappy build a fence. It was pretty fun. We dug holes and mixed and poured concrete. I got a sunburn. Went to the Roller Derby where Casey kicked some asses and they won. Sunday hung with the fam. Good times.

Is it bad that I have been drinking out of the same styrofoam cup at work for like 8 months?

While driving to work I was thinking about how happy I am that I don't have to wear diapers.....yet.

Hot New Video Game

I love this. You had better love it too.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Adventures in Facial Hair and P90X

The first picture is one I am not proud of, but it is funny nonetheless. I look like a fat man with a sweet sweet stache. Again I think it is just a bad angle and me not being used to seeing my bare face yet. Today I look great. Trust me. Speaking of how I look the 2nd picture is me right after shaving my moustache off but keeping the sideburns. Ok I wish that was me, but it is really Atilla from Lionheart. I actually have a black tank top and I want to re-create this picture. We'll see if I can get it set up.
So Columbia was pretty fun even though it was a very brief trip. Casey's team won and everyone played well. Ben and I got some tasty burgers at Flat Branch prior to the bout. I did get pissed off at Saint Louis because I saw at least a few basketball hoops in parks in Columbia which is more that I can say for the STL. Come on. Let's get it going. I shouldn't have to join the Y or build my own basketball court just to shoot some hoops. Anyway...... A lot of the roller girls who were not playing in the bout were super hammered and it was fun to watch. I'm sure the ones playing also got super hammered, but Ben and I drove home soon after the bout.
I was hoping to make it back in time to go to the Megan & Kelly birthday partay, but alas it was not meant to be. Happy Birthday ladies!
After seeing my fat moustache picture I decided to start my P90X workout program. It is pretty hardcore. I have done 3 days worth of workouts and watched what I ate and my body hurts. It is a good hurt though. I should be totally ripped in just 87 more days. I have a pretty sweet set up in my garage.
There are a lot of birthday's this week. Anne, Ben, Megan and Kelly. Wowsers.

Friday, April 3, 2009

As Promised


I have a moustache today. I will try to remember to take a picture 2nite. It is pretty hilarious. I laugh every time I look at myself. As more of my face is exposed on a daily basis I am reminded that my face is not very good to look at. Maybe I should start growing more things on it to cover it up.

I am about 1/3 of the way through Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It is pretty good and brutal. I know that I could die at any time, but reading this book reminds me how easy I have it. Maybe that is why I like reading/watching dark depressing stuffs so much.

The Dallas trip was fine. We didn't do a whole heck of a lot, but that was pretty relaxing.

Went to a great show at the Wedge on Tuesday. I know can you believe I actually went and did something during the week. 4 bands that were all pretty good. I don't know if the sound guy was great or the room was perfect, but all of the bands sounded amazing. Glass Teeth always puts on a great show and I hadn't seen them in a while so that was nice. I was really impressed with Masshysteri. They are a Swedish band that sings in Swedish. How bout that. I kind of preferred it. I like to think of the voice as another instrument unless the lyrics are really good. This allowed me to just get into the melody and not worry about the lyrics. They were really excited to be in St. Louis because they liked Chuck Berry. They played Johnny B. Goode.

Ahhhh yes.

I am going to Columbia tomorrow to watch some roller derby. I need some companions. Who's in?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Dirt Dog

I was just reading something about guys who won't change their towels (get a clean towel after using one for a bit) until their partner does it for them. This made me think about my first few years in college (most likely all of my years in college). I would pretty much never change switch my towel or sheets. I'm sure they smelled terrible, but I must have not noticed or cared. I didn't even understand why a person would need to own more than 1 towel. Now I probably wash my towel weekly because I can't stand the smell. If I had to rely on Casey to do it, I would always have the same towel. This is not a complaint, but I think she would enjoy making fun of my smell rather than doing my laundry.

We are traveling to Dallas this weekend. Man -vs- Food has not been there yet. This is fortunate for my waistline but unfortunate for my mouth.

I am very antsy lately.

I get to bowl during work tomorrow.

Friday, March 20, 2009


I'm sorry Jen, but I have bumped Iced Coco from my link list. It hasn't been updated since September so I guess we can stick a fork in it. Oh Coco. What will I do without new nasty red leather camel toe pictures on a semi regular basis? I think I could still find some if I liked, but I don't want to make Ice-T too jealous.

I am also adding links to Gin and Tacos ( and Normal Blog ( I don't know Ed from gin and tacos personally, but he is a cohort of Mike from Rortybomb. I have really been enjoying the discussion on Gin and Tacos as of late. I especially enjoy the rant about Burning Man on there today. Nick Normal from Normal Blog is one of the coolest guys around. He is living life to its fullest.

I probably should have given both of them a heads up about my endorsement because the new hits by all of the emergency pudding snack paks (as my fans call themselves) will probably crash their servers. I have confidence that their sites can handle 4 new visitors per week though.

My NCAA basketball predictions are doing pretty well. I am 13-3 after the first day. I love basketball and I really need to play more. When I say more I mean ever.

I took some Personality Tests the other day to see what I should be doing with my life. They results were the same as all the other times I have taken them. I was sometimes an ENFP and sometimes an INFP. Here were my career choices: Counselor, Teacher, Writer, Accountant, Librarian, Social Sciences Researcher and H/R Recruiter. What do you think? What could you picture me doing, or should I stick with Business dude? Just tell me. I have trouble making decisions.

I need a dog watcher next weekend when we go to Dallas. Who wants the honor?

Good Day.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Ba-Skeet Ball

I was too late filling out my NCAA bracket to enter any contests, but here are my pics in case I turn out to be a genius.

1st Round: Louisville, OSU, Utah, Wake, WV, Kansas, USC, Mich State, UConn, Tx A&M, Purdue, Miss State, Marquette, Mizzou, Cal, Memphis, Pitt, TN, Fl State, Xavier, UCLA, Villanova, TX, Duke, UNC, LSU, Western KY, Gonzaga, AZ State, Syracuse, Clemson, OK

2nd Round: Louisville, Wake, Kansas, Mich State, UConn, Purdue, Mizzou, Memphis, Pitt, Fl State, Villanova, Duke, UNC, Gonzaga, Syracuse, OK

3rd Round: Louisville, Kansas, UConn, Memphis, Pitt, Villanova, UNC, Syracuse

4th Round: Louisville, Memphis, Pitt, UNC

5th Round: Louisville, Pitt

Champions: Louisville

Everyone who reads this has to give me $1000 if I am right.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Tag Team Back Aagain

Here is the whirlwind version of our trip last week. I am too lazy to reformat everything so deal with it. I also want to mention that I have very impressive facial hair right now. I would say it is the colonel Sanders look with bushier sideburns.

So we began our 9 day journey on the last day of February with little sleep and a Hertz rental car. Pontiac now you're driving with excitement. (That was my attempt to drum up some sponsorship dollars). The first day was pretty damn good. I already posted some of our hilarious quips in a previous post, but there were many moments of funny stuff. No trip down 55 is complete without a stop at Lambert's home of throwed rolls. It was goooood. After that we drove a few more hours to Clarksdale, MS (in the snow).

The first 3 pictures are from Clarksdale, MS and the Shack up inn. It is an old plantation converted into a hotel and run by some hippie/jam band dudes. They were very nice, but not helpful when we wanted them to wake up before 7am to check out the next day. The room was nothing fancy, but nice enough. There was a cool mural in the bathroom that had blues stuff like Robert Johnson with devil horns. Robert Johnson supposedly sold his soul to the devil in Clarksdale, MS. I saw where the crossroads might have been and tried to sell my soul for a donut, but it wasn't worth enough.

We went to the Delta blues museum in Clarksdale and it was very cool. There were exhibits on lots of old blues guys and gals from the area. They had a cabin that Muddy Waters lived in as a child in the museum. There was a bass guitar that was made out of a gas can. The rest of the town was pretty run down. Not in a terrible way, but in the way that told you its heyday was a long time ago.

If we weren't old and lame we would have checked out the blues club owned by Morgan Freeman, or another blues club behind that one. We decided to eat PB&J and go to sleep early in anticipation of a long drive the next day.

If I go back I want a shack (we stayed in the cotton gin inn which was cool, but a shack would be cooler).

This is long winded already, so I'll skip some. Day 2 we drove a lot. It was Icy at first then we started to break through to a little warmth. I had the best cup of coffee on the trip in a Waffle House in Richland, MS. The picture below was on the way in Pensacola, FL. There were a lot of cool houses on the beach and then there was this spaceship house. The neighbors probably think you're weird, but I love you.

We got into Destin, FL in the late afternoon on day 2. The beaches were beautiful. Things were also looking very touristy. We ate at this Irish place that was pretty dern good. We bought a bottle of wine and the guy gave us a free corkscrew, how bout that.

Day 3 had no extended driving. Hooray. We went to eat at the donut hole restaurant for breakfast. I don't want to scare anyone, but there were a ton of old people there. I thought that Florida would be safe from the elderly, but they slide their greasy liver spotted mitts in everywhere don't they. (This brings up a big disappointment I had with Florida. We had Key Lime pie there and at one other place and neither were as good as the Key lime pie at Fraizers here in St. Louie. Actually these were not better than the frozen pie at schnucks. What gives? Maybe you have to go all the way to Key west. I dunno.)

After the donut hole we drove along the scenic route looking at the beach and houses and stuff. Surprisingly these houses were out of our price range. I guess I still have to count my garage as my winter home until I earn some more cash.

We went to an outlet mall which was not terrible, but only because we were only there for about an hour. I got some jeans and Casey got some fancy flip flops. Then we walked on the beach for a long time. It was only about 60 degrees so we didn't swim, but if you know anything about me it is that I like long walks on the beach. We also went to a national park and did a nature walk. We started to realize that we did like Destin because it was beautiful and could be very non touristy if you got a group together and rented a condo and cooked for yourself. That is what our neighbors are doing next month. We went out on a pier at sunset and see picture below:

Day 4 had lots of Driving down to Jupiter, FL. I used Hotwire to get us a oceanfront hilton room for $89 a night. The beach/hotel/bed were awesome. It is bullshit that you get charged for internet access at fancy hotels though. We went swimming, ate at the hotel and relaxed. This brings up one of my favorite things about the south: You can get sweet potato fries almost anywhere. Damn I love sweet potato fries.

Day 5 it was a little rainy, but we still got up and walked around the beach in the morning. We also went to this sea turtle rescue place close by. It was very cool. It made you feel sorry for the turtles, but they were getting taken care of. We ate at this place called Nature's way Cafe. It was pretty good, but it kind of shows how people like to act like they are healthy and being "green" but really it is for show. The food itself was all relatively healthy and natural and they didn't have soda, but they served everything on styrofoam. We also went to the Henry Flagler house/museum. He was this super duper rich railroad tycoon with a fancy pants house. It was pretty cool. See below:

Oh we ate at this amazing place in Jupiter that night. You might have heard of it: Chili's.

Ok Day 6 was going to be Burt Reynolds and Baseball day, but the Burt Reynolds museum had the nerve to be closed. Here is the amazing painting hanging right outside of it though. Someday I hope to get a painting like this done of myself.


Here is Casey and I at the baseball game in Jupiter. It was great weather and you were very close to the action. It was the Cardinals -vs- The Dominican Republic team. There was this loudmouth Red Sox fan sitting next to us that I thought would be annoying, but he was actually very entertaining. He would yell stuff at everyone. The Cardinals won and the game went by really fast. I guess that is what happens when you don't have commercials in between innings.
I also ate Ice Cream from the future. Don't be jealous.

Day 7 we drove a good little bit and ended up in Savannah, GA. This was our favorite stop on the trip I would say. It is a cool historic town with awesome cemeteries, town squares and restaurants. It is known as the most haunted city in America. We didn't see any ghosties though. That is probably because they don't exist. I guess every town could claim America's most haunted city because all cities have Zero hauntings per year. I still like to pretend a little though. We ate lunch at this place that claims to be haunted by a bare knuckle boxer, went on a haunted trolley tour, got to go to this house that was on ghost hunters (Sorrell-weed house) and went swimming at our hotel. I used hotwire again in Savannah to get a hotel right on the river front. It was pretty nice and they had the softest toilet paper I have ever felt.

Day 8 we got up and went to Bonaventure cemetery which was huge and really cool. They shot some of the movie "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" there. I have not seen it, but I guess I should now. This would be known as a day of massive eating. We went to lunch at the Pirate house. A cool place that is supposed to be haunted by pirates and they had a great southern food buffet. They we drove the 5 minutes to get to South Carolina. I put my foot out the car door and then we departed South Carolina.
We drove to Hotlanta, GA with the sole purpose of eating at The Vortex. It is a Bar & Grill that we saw on Man -vs-Food. The food was delicious I must say. The Double Bypass burger was great and not really that difficult to eat (1/2 lb burger, 6 strips of bacon, 4 slices of cheese, 2 fried eggs, lettuce, tomato, mayo, and 2 grilled cheese sandwiches in place of buns). Damn it was good. I also had tater tots and some of Casey's sweet potato fries.
Right before we ate this guy was having trouble starting his motorcycle. Another guy helped him start it up and then he was revving it up for a while. This couple and another guy pushing a stroller walked up behind the guy on his motorcycle. I guess they thought he was being too loud in front of the baby so the guy called the motorcycle guy an asshole. I'm guessing the motorcycle guy was drunk because he got off his bike (that now was dead again) and confronted the guy who called him an asshole. They were talking and stuff and then the motorcycle guy spit in the face of the baby's father out of nowhere and then got back on his bike and sped away. It was touching.

On that note we left Hotlanta, GA after driving around downtown for a while trying to get back onto the highway. We drove to Murfreesboro, TN to spend the night.
Day 9 we drove home. The only excitement was a giant downpour of rain in Illinois when I thought I was going to die. Oh we also stopped to get gas in Kuttawa, KY which is the town I stayed in for 3 weeks when I was still at my old job. It made me shiver and I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.
When we got home we noticed that Sean was nice enough to re-arrange all of our toys in sexual positions.
There's no place like home.