Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Someone buy this house for me:


If you don't want to buy it for me then I suggest that Dan and Jeannie move to Festus, MO and pick it up.

In less interesting news, I might be re-financing my house. Wooooo.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

FML and Videos of me on the Internets

I have been laughing at this all day:


Here is a behind the scenes video from the Breeder's video shoot. I am the handsome one sitting down in a few of the shots:


I booked all of my lodgings for my Florida Road trip. I got 4 nights free because I still have Holiday Inn points so that is sweet. I am excited about this place in Mississippi too: http://www.shackupinn.com

Maybe I can sell my soul to the devil for some skills when I'm in Mississippi, because I could use some skillz.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


I take back everything bad I said about the Oklahoma City Thunder based solely on their mascot. I present Rumble the Bison:

Now I want to be traded to Oklahoma City!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


As I was finishing my workout this afternoon I noticed that Tyson Chandler (NBA player that I saw in an outdoor mall while I was in California) got traded from the New Orleans Hornets to the Oklahoma City Thunder. Sucks for him on so many levels. Not to diss Oklahoma City too much because I have only been there once, but seriously. The team and city don't even compare to New Orleans. I guess he will wipe his tears with diamonds and million dollar bills.

This past weekend was possibly one of the least relaxing weekends I've had. In this case it was not really a bad thing. There were a lot of good folks in from out of town and in town for that matter. Right after work on Friday I found out that Logan was in town and Nana and Shaggy were coming soon(Meditation Mike has been around for a week or so straight outta Korea) and they came by to pick me up. Logan's new truck can be summarized as such: Fucking huge and powerful. It made SUVs look like Smart Cars. We hung out and ate dinner at Local Harvest. It was good although it took forever because our waitress forgot to put our order in for like an hour. It was no big deal once we got some delicious foods. Then we went to the City museum to meet up with Casey. They were having a roller derby kick off party. Check out the M-80s totally hardcore team picture:

You might not be able to tell because of the size, but Casey has her left elbow on the truck.

Anyway I have not been to City Museum in a little while so it was fun to climb around stuff again. It wasn't nearly as painful as I remember. I think this might be because I'm in better shape than the last time I was there. A good time was had by all. After that we hung out at Ashley's house. I think I went to bed at 4. ugg

Valentines day was on Saturday as you might have heard and I celebrated by becoming a huge star. Ok not really but this was the day of the Breeders video shoot. I was there for about 6-7 hours, but it actually wasn't that bad because at least there were people skating around to watch the whole time. The song was really good too even thought we heard it for 6-7 hours straight. I'd say Casey has a good shot of being in the actual video and I have a smaller chance, but possibly in the background a few times. Kelley Deal was there sitting in the fan section with us and helping out the director with her ideas and such. She was super nice. She signed some autographs and took a picture with us:

Please keep all of the Beard compliments to a minimum.

After the video we went to have a romantic dinner with a bunch of other Roller Derby peeps at Kickers. It is sort of a dive bar on Broadway, but they had surprisingly good food. They also had $2 burgers which tasted like burgers by grandma used to make.

Sunday was actually semi relaxing I guess. I went to the Soulard Pet Parade with tH and Meditation. We also miraculously met up with my sister and some of her folks. I say miraculously because there were a shit ton of dogs, people and 1 Bison. It was fun, but pretty crowded. I tried to meet up with my next door neighbors but was unsuccessful. I think we are star crossed neighbors because we always try to hang out and meet up but it never ends up happening. Anyway here are some photos (dogs are hard to photograph):

And there you have it.

I am happy that I did a lot this weekend, but wish I could consistently be social and active. It is good for you.

I just read this quote today and thought it was funny. It might have been originated by George Carlin: Having a ‘smoking section’ in a restaurant is like having a ‘peeing section’ in a pool.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Royal Rumble

I have an idea for the next 4 people to participate in a Royal Rumble. This Royal Rumble will be a little different in that it will be to the death and the last one (winner) gets to be eaten by tigers. Here is the lineup:

1. Stewart Parnell (President of Peanut Corp of America who is responsible for 9 deaths and hundreds of sick people).
2. Bernie Madoff (Guy who ripped people off for 50 billion).
3 & 4. Mark Ciavarella and Michael Conahan (PA Judges who were paid off to send kids to juv detention centers probably ruining countless lives).

On a happier note, I slept for about 12 hours last night. It really wasn't that great but I'm trying to get to 100% after being semi-sick for like a week. Geez.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Hip Hop Opatamus

The weather today is very Seattle like. I think that is a good thing for the most part although it would be better if Saint Louie also had Seattle scenery. I have been semi sick the last week or so. It is kind of a pain in the ass. I haven't been working out and I feel like a lardo, but I'm probably really not much different than usual. There seem to be a lot of sick people around. If I am ever going to be a writer I should probably work at putting sentences where they belong and not just when I feel/think of it.

My Pops bought the P90X workout program a year or so ago and I just borrowed it. I think I'm going to give it a try. I don't especially care about getting ripped, but I need something new to keep me interested in being healthy. The program has you take a before picture, and let me tell you that that is enough motivation to work out more. I don't think I'll follow the meal plan very strictly though. It wants me to eat like 250 grams of protein a day and that is just out of control. I probably eat around 100 normally.

Who knows what happens on Friday? If you guessed it is Wicket's 3rd birthday then you are right. We technically don't know Wicket's birthday because she is from the mean streets, but she is such a lover (licker) that we thought valentine's day would be perfect. I also might become a huge star on Saturday. The Breeders (the rock & roll band with Kim Deal) are shooting a video in Saint Louie with the Roller Derby Girls and I get to be in the audience. It might be a long and painful day, but I do like the Breeders and hopefully should be fun. I listened to POD on the way into work today. I should probably get a hold of their most recent album so I don't embarrass myself in case I talk to any of them.

I got some pretty great seats to see the Filght of The Conchords at the Fox Theatre in April. It should be pretty great. I have been watching the 1st season again and enjoying it thoroughly.

I am taking a week off in March and I am trying to decide what to do. I am hoping Casey can get some time off as well. Here is my dream plan for a Southern Road Trip:

1. Drive through KY and TN.

2. Stay a night in Nashville or Chattanooga or possibly the Smokey Mountains

3. Drive through Atlanta and eat the Double Bypass Burger (1/2 pound burger, 2 Fried Eggs, 4 Slices of Cheese, 5 Strips of Bacon and instead of Buns they use 2 Grilled Cheese sandwiches). http://www.thevortexbarandgrill.com/

4. See some beaches in Fla.

5. See a Cardinals Spring Training game in Jupiter.

6. Try on my new bikini.

Anyone is welcome to come along. The dates are still to be determined.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Super Bowl Porn

Is it just me, or are you really hung over from Groundhog day too?

So I really didn't celebrate Groundhog day appropriately, but I spent a night at home mostly by myself. I was pretty proud of myself for not eating like a pig for the Super Bowl, but I made up for it last night when I basically ate a pound of Velveeta Cheese/Rotel Dip with chips for dinner. That was a bad choice. I did have some fun last night playing around with my Drum machine/guitar/bass in the basement. We'll see if this leads to me actually playing music more consistently, but it was fun. I had the drum machine hooked up to my big old bass amp and had some ridiculous drum patterns going ( I was too lazy to remember how to create good ones). Then I played bass/guitar along to the beats. I should really invest in some new patch cords or fix the ones I have because they short out about every 5 seconds. Is this story boring you because it is boring me.

I really liked the Wrestler. I like it more every time I think about it. The message is that you should do what you Love even if it costs you everyone/everything that you love. I don't think I'll follow that advice, but I do enjoy depressing films. Oh and Shit-Damn Marisa Tomei is hot.

I enjoyed my first Trivia Night, but I don't think I have a career in it. I just don't want to learn stuff I don't care about just to be good at Trivia. My sister was quite the expert though. It was a good time.

I got to see Jamie & Oscar which was fun. We just hung out all day on a snowy Sunday in Shrewsbury eating various cheesy meals. I wish that she lived closer, but I actually still see her a few times a year. I feel like Jamie is family ( in a good way).

I have a pretty sweet beard going on right now. It is the biggest beard I have ever had. It is not actually that sweet because it is very spotty, but it is kind of fun at the moment. I'll see if I can take some photos tonight.

We got about 8 inches of snow last Monday-Wednesday. It pretty much kept me trapped in the house because I worked from home on Tuesday & Wednesday. The doggies really enjoyed the snow. It came right up to peanut's armpits so she had to hop around the yard. Hilarious. Wicket is an Arctic bear so she never wants to come in and she lays down in the snow. Ninja also came over one day and ran around with my doggies.

I went to the Whole Foods Store partay at the Skatium on Wednesday. It was fun to rollerskate although the rental skates are TERRIBLE. I had a blister within 5 minutes. It still hurts right now. I also was screwing around and fell on my phone that was in my front pocket. I have a phone shaped bruise on my thigh (not pictured).

I don't know why people in Arizona who saw 10 seconds of Hardcore Porn were so upset. Porn is usually expensive. They are lucky that they don't get charged for that premium service. I hope that my blog is not the first thing that comes up when you search for hardcore porn.

Ok so in case I forgot that I was working in a corporate environment here are 2 emails i have gotten recently. The names and places have been hidden for their protection:

Email 1:

Please mark your calendar today to join us at a retirement celebration for Sally Sims on Thursday, February 12th, at 2:00 pm, in the Conference Room.

Our theme is a "hats off" to Sally and we ask everyone to wear your funkiest hat to the party (those of you with a creative flare can make one). The reception is not a surprise to Sally - the theme is.

Mums the word (and would look great on your hat!)

Email 2:

Sally's last day is fast approaching. I hope you have blocked your calendar to join us at her retirement celebration on Thursday, February 12th, at 2:00 pm, in the Conference Room.

As a reminder, our theme is a "hats off" to Sally and we ask everyone to wear your funkiest hat to the party (those of you with a creative flare can make one). The reception is not a surprise to Sally - the theme is, so shhhhh!

This part is NEW!

We have another surprise in store for Sally. We are creating personalized buttons to pin on to the ribbons of Sally's hat! If you would like to send Sally a short farewell message, please email me or stop by my office to pick up a paper circle to write your message on. Circles need to be returned to me by the end of the day on Feb. 9th. Thanks!

This kind of thing makes me want to drive into the Grand Canyon. I must stop typing because I need to go shopping for a super funky hat.