Saturday, December 11, 2010

Am I in charge of my own life?

I have been contemplating my activities of the last 24 hours or so, and I am wondering if I am really the one who made the choices to do the things I've done. (Does that last sentence make sense?)

I don't remember getting out of work yesterday and saying: "Wow I would love to go skating at Rollercade with 10,000 teens and pre-teens."

Then saying: "Now I'm going to watch MacGruber and play Angry Birds until 2 in the morning and then sleep on the couch."

Then saying: "I want to get up at 7 am, play more Angry Birds and then watch the parts of MacGruber that Casey missed when she fell asleep."

Then finally saying: "I'm going to do some work while watching The Garbage Kids Movie on Netflix."

Anyone want to be my life coach?

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Am I cheap?

I have had the same black hooded sweatshirt since 1997. It is pretty much the only thing I wear in the Fall through Winter when I'm outside. I think it cost me about $20 dollars. That means I have spent $1.43 per year on coats. Can anyone beat that?

I had a delicious breakfast this morning consisting of an omelet, toast, OJ & coffee. I really wish that I had some bacon though. We have a bacon air freshener hanging in our living room that is taunting me right now.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Did I miss me?

Did you miss me? I didn't either.

I am enjoying a relaxing evening at home alone tonight. It's just me, a warm bath and my Grishams. Ok not that. More like laying around watching sports and playing with puppies. It feels pretty nice though. Work has been busy, friends & family have been in and out of town, and I feel like I am starting to lose touch with my life of leisure. I think I can get it back though. Some random thoughts:

1. I probably went a year or longer without eating at White Castle, but now I have succumbed to their siren song 3 times in the last 11 days. The only real problem is that I have not stopped enjoying it. I have been eating pretty well since Thanksgiving besides that so I guess it could be worse. I blame Johnnie Hubert.

2. The Wire is great. I made the mistake last month of only having about 5 episodes of season 4 left the night before going out of town. I stayed up until about 2 am, worked and then rode up to Chicago. Nothing like starting a weekend with no sleep. It was worth it, and I am trying to save the viewing of the final season for a time when I can dedicate about 13 hours to watching it all. My only issue with season 4 is that there was not enough McNulty. Indeed.

3. Have you heard of Die Antwoord? They are totally crazy. I had heard of them before, but never thought much of them until Halloween. Some friends of friends dressed up as them, and now I am totally intrigued by them. The costumes were spot on by the way. It is hard to tell if they are for real, or if they are some sort of performance artists doing experiments on us. Do yourself a favor and watch Enter the Ninja, Evil Boy and some of their interviews (too many great ones to link). They are trashy, sample music from Dance Dance Revolution and do the wang helicopter in Pink Floyd boxers. It there anything else to say? It's self spoken.

I was the Noid for Halloween. I thought it was a pretty sweet costume.

4. I drank a four loko in Chicago. It made me feel kind of crazy. I won't go into how the evening went (mostly because I can't remember), but it was loko. By now you have probably heard of the amazing characteristics of a four loko, but I'm going to tell you again.

1 24oz can of four loko has the caffeine of a six pack of diet coke and the alcohol of an entire bottle of wine. Does that blow anyone else's mind? You would be foolish not to drink four loko just because of the money you would save on beverages. Even a cheap bottle of wine and a six pack of soda would cost you at least $10, but a four loko costs like $2.50. What a deal. I had lemonade cranberry so not only did I get all the caffeine and alcohol I wanted, but the cranberry really helped out my urinary tract. I think I am still getting four loko flashbacks.
How cool is it that I just did a search for four loko and found a picture of people I knew in four loko costumes? Real cool. The one in the middle is also the girl who dressed as yolandi from Die Antwoord on Halloween.

5. Casey got an iPhone. She likes to think she is better than me because her phone is 5o levels nicer than mine. She might be right, but does her phone have an extendable antenna? I will admit that I love to play angry birds, and even if that is all the phone did it would be worth it.

69. The amount of nudity in 'Love and Other Drugs' should be the minimum amount of nudity allowed in every movie.

I have to get back to my relaxing now.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


I am taking a quick break from napping and thought I'd write something.

I wrote a guest blog for my friend over at Bring Your Own Jock Jams:


I think that she and I are the only ones who cared, but what are you gonna do?

In real life news, Congrats to my sister and hubby for having a bebe. It is a boy bebe. This makes me an uncle for the 2nd time and my parents grandparents for the first time. They didn't accept any of my name suggestions, but that is their fault if they don't like being awesome. Ok they did good with the name too even if it wasn't Rambo Mantooth or Russell Osiris.

Is it just me or is everyone having a birthday, getting married or having a baby this October? It sure seems like it. I shouldn't complain because without these things I would have nothing to do, just like I have nothing to do tonight. Maybe I'll see what the Red Rocker Sammy Hagar is up to tonight on his birthday.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

P-I-Z-Z-A (I feel Weird)

Casey has been out of town since Tuesday and I think I'm slowly going crazy. I've only seen 2 humans today, and all I hear is this Olsen Twins Pizza song in my head. I think that should count as going crazy. Just so I'm not crazy by myself here is the video:

By the way, both the humans I saw today were at Imo's Pizza. This song has completely penetrated my brain and has altered my thoughts.

Friday, September 24, 2010


Man is it nice outside. It is so nice that I am not even mad about the following things:

1. Car needed new transmission which cost 1 billion dollars so we had to buy a new car.
2. Casey is a punk and insisted that the new car we got has a stick shift. I have never driven a stick shift nor do I want to. Why would you want to do extra things while driving? Stupid.
3. We got a red light camera ticket in the mail for $100.
4. I vacationed too much this summer and now I am fatter than I would like.
5. Ordered food from Onesto and they gave me a Chicken Parmesan sandwich instead of the highly superior Eggplant Parmesan sandwich that I ordered.
5. I drank a gigantic iced coffee after work today, but now have nothing to do.

Saturday, September 4, 2010


The weather here is St. Louie is amazing. Me and the ball & chain went for a nice bike ride yesterday and ended up riding around in a cemetery. I always enjoy being in cemeteries, but I'm not sure why. It might be because I think I'm better than all of the dead people. Anyways....I am really starting to question what to do with my earthly remains when I kick it. I had been planning to be cremated and have Casey eat a spoonful of me everyday in oatmeal until I'm gone, but now I think I might want a super sweet headstone/statue. I guess I could just have a memorial of myself without having my body in it. I'm thinking of either a statue of a Death Eater from Harry Potter, Ring Wraith from Lord of the Rings, or King Hippo with his pants down. It's a toss up at this point. Thoughts?

Other than enjoying the weather I'm just living life. I had a great time in Minneapolis and Iowa City last month. Went to a 90210 Skate Partay on Thursday which was a lot of fun. Going to Las Vegas next week. Been listening to this crazy singer/harp player named Joanna Newsome.


Oh, and the Cardinals are not good.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wife

Watch this:

Then watch this:

You will be very happy you did. Thanks to Punches for sharing this with me. My life will never be the same.

Sunday, August 8, 2010


Peanut woke me up early, as she always does, but I can't get back to sleep. So now I'm going to attempt to be creative. OK I give up, but I'm still going to post a blog.

I have some advice. Don't see Step Up 3D. I'm not sure how Casey, Nana and Mike convinced me to go to this movie, but I accidentally went. I had no intention of seeing it, but I guess I just wanted to get out of the house. There were not nearly enough sweet dance moves, and they did a bunch of bullshit things just for the 3D effects. There was this guy that did an amazing robot though.

I have some more advice. Watch 'The Wire'. I accidentally bought the entire series of 'The Wire' on DVD after returning from Baltimore. I have seen a few places that I visited while I was there which is cool, but the show itself is just well done. I watched 8 hour long episodes between Friday night and Saturday afternoon. Is it weird that sassy gay black men are my favorite characters in shows? Case in point: Lafayette from 'True Blood' and Omar from 'The Wire'.

My goals after returning from vacation were to try and live a little more simply (read more, bike more, walk more, cook for myself more, listen and play music more), eat better and exercise more. I have not succeeded yet, but I am trying. I have not read anything, biked, walked much, cooked, listened to much music or eaten much better. I did run and lift weights 3 times each. It is fine though because I have excuses.

This post is completely unfunny, so I will share 2 videos that have made me laugh a lot recently:

I have to thank DOB and Nick Normal for introducing these to me.

I mowed the lawn yesterday in a sleeveless shirt and jean shorts. I soon hope to livestream me doing manual labor in sleeveless shirts and jean shorts so be on the lookout. It was the first time I ever wore only clothing that I made. I cut the sleeves of the shirt and bottoms off of the pants. I probably would be on this season of Project Runway, but 3 dudes from St. Louis on one show is probably too much for the nation to handle.

I'm giving up on going back to sleep. I'm gunna eat some food.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

East Coasties

Holy Damn. Is is Friday already?

I went on vacation last week and it was awesome. I didn't stay in one place for very long, but I still got to relax and see some good peoples.

(These pictures are all over the place. I am too lazy to rearrange them, so deal with it suckas.)

Day 1: It all started last Monday. We arrived at the airport and immediately saw that our flight was delayed 1.5 hours. This was a very bad thing, because that was the amount of time we needed in Chicago in order to make our next flight (which was the last one going to New Hampshire arriving at 11:35pm). Shit. Luckily we were there early enough and the lovely people at Southwest got us on an earlier flight to Chicago and we could stop stressing. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful which was a great thing. We got into New Hampshire on time and then drove about 1.5 hours to Ogunquit, ME. It was about 1 am when we got there and it was sooooo quiet. I was hoping that this didn't mean that I had picked a boring vacation spot for blue hairs.

Day 2: We got up relatively early, had a continental breakfast* and decided to take a walk. There is this walkway called Marginal Way where you can walk right along the ocean for 1.5 miles. It was beautiful to say the least. (I am impressed that I have been able to use '1.5' 3 times already).

*While I was waiting in the lobby for breakfast I noticed that none other than Taylor Hicks from American Idol fame was putting on a show that night in the restaurant attached to our hotel. Taylor Hicks? That is probably a bad sign for your career if you are playing at restaurant attached to a hotel in Ogunquit, Maine, but who am I to judge. I kind of wanted to go, but only so that I could tell people that I did it. I have no interest in the musical stylings of Taylor Hicks.

The Marginal Way leads you to the inner harbor (area with boats and little shops). Throughout the next few days Casey and I would make many jokes about the Habah, Habah Ducks, The Green Monstah, Lobstah and anything else we could say in a Maine/Boston accent. We thought we were hilarious. Next we did something we would do 1.5 times 2 (3) more times later, and that is eat lobster. We had lobster rolls and chowdah for lunch at the Lobster Shack...and the lobster rolls were amazing!!! The buns looked like texas toast fused with a hot dog bun. I've never seen anything like it, but it was delicious. Am I getting long winded yet?

After lunch we decided to walk back on the Marginal Way and get our stuff for some beach time. The beach was really awesome. Some parts were crowded, but you could walk just a little further and have plenty of space. The water was brisk, but still felt good and refreshing. There was 1 man thong sighting. I liked that everyone there were normal people. The beach wasn't filled with super models to make you feel bad about yourself. I mean besides Casey and I. After spending the better part of a day in Maine we determined that these types of people go there:

Mostly White people (not much of a surprise)
Old people
Families from the Northeast
French Canadians (It was amazing how many french speakers there were. I bet the town was 75% french speakers)
Gays (Woooo. Go Gays!!)

We don't really fall into these categories, but fit in just fine.

After the beach we had frozen yogurt and took a nap. We woke up from our nap and had to step on it to find dinner because some things close pretty early in town during the week. We decided on getting some Lobster pizza, wine, salad and it ruled. We walked around on the beach at night which was amazing. Then we got ice cream, candy and more wine and headed back to the room. I would tell you what happens next, but it was waaaay indecent.

A great day!

Day 3: Slept in a little bit, but nothing too outrageous. Walked a different way down towards the inner harbor and got some breakfast. It was good stuff. I think it was called Cafe Amore. It said on the menu that Rachel Ray had been there. Then we went on an awesome Lighthouse cruise. Guess how long the cruise was? 1.5 Hours. It was a beautiful day and very relaxing on the boat. We got to check out all of the obscenely large houses on the coast. We talked about befriending all the old people we saw with the hopes of convincing them to change their will to leave us their houses. We then decided against it, because who wants to talk to old people anyway?

While on our cruise the guide pointed to a light house off in the distance called the Boon Island light house. That island had some crazy shit happen on it. They had cannibals in 1710, and evidently you can still see wreckage from a German U boat from the island. I wish we could have gone there, but it was pretty damn far away. Oh well. I'll just have to find some cannibals and wrecked German ships on shore somewhere. Oh, the guide also told us about a ship called the Dixie that crashed on the shore of Maine a long time ago. Get it? The Dixie Wrecked. Har har har.

After the cruise we got some more lobster rolls, Casey bought a floppy hat, we rode around on a trolley and then went back to the beach. No man thongs today, but we did see a guy with the hairiest shoulders and back I can ever remember seeing. Glorious. What else can you say about the beach? It is great to be on the beach.

We decided to get some more lobster & veggie pizza for dinner and then get some treats and hang out on the beach and watch the sunset/moon rise. It worked out pretty well except that the spot we chose had a rock blocking where the moon was. There were also mosquitoes. I hate you mosquitoes.

With that the beach time was over :(.

Day 4: Got up early as hell and drove to New Hampshire. The guy who checked us out at the hotel looked like the Albino from The Princess Bride so that was a bonus. Dropped Casey off at the airport which was sad, but I was ready to do some adventuring on my own.

I drove to Queens to hook up with Nick Normal and go see the Cardinals play the NY Mets in a day game. The drive took a while, but wasn't horrible. Even driving into Queens wasn't especially bad. (I found a radio station that played Mudhoney, They Might Be Giants and Easy-E in a 20 minute period in NYC. What is better than that?) I did an awful parallel parking job in front of the Flux Factory and then we were off to the baseball game.

If anyone goes to NYC they should go with Nick Normal. Even though he is a Saint Louisan he is a great guide on all things NYC. We got to the stadium and met up with Julia (Kirksville/STL homie) and bought some tickets that cost way more than we intended. It was free umbrella day and there were tons of kids there. Damn kids and their umbrellas! The seats were nice and we had a good time talking a little bit of shit on the Mets. We couldn't talk much though because the Cardinals royally sucked it up that day. We had 3 hits and no runs. Boo. It also rained which was fine for the first 25,000 fans who got umbrellas, but not for us. Honestly the rain felt nice for a while, but it got heavy for 10 minutes or so and we took a walk.

So the game was a bit of a wash, but I got to see a new stadium and we had a fun time regardless. After the game we walked around a giant park (I think it was Corona park), and stopped in a few museums. The first was the Queens Museum of Art. There were a lot of cool looking exhibits, but we were short on time and Nick wanted us to see the Panorama of the City of New York. And....Holy shit was it amazing. My mind is still blown away by the panorama. It is a 9335 square foot model of the entire city of NY. It has every building constructed before 1992 on it. You are able to walk around the model in this giant room. All I can say it that you should go see it because it is crazy awesome. It gave me a architectural boner.

Next we went to the New York Hall of Science because Nick needed to have a chat with someone there about the upcoming Maker Faire (an awesome event, you should read about it). The guy he was meeting with was super awesome and even took us into this place called the Great Hall (it was built before anyone had been to the moon to make it look like you were in outer space). We also got to see some Piranhas and a bunch of other crazy science exhibits.

We caught a car back to the Flux Factory to drop some stuff off and then decided to start walking around. I'm not sure exactly where we walked around, but I know that we were in Long Island City. It is great just to see what is going on in such a huge lively place. We grabbed dinner and a beer in this small little pub (Dominie's Hoek). The sandwich, fries and beer were all amazing. They hit the spot after a long day of driving and walking.

We walked around a little more after dinner and then parted ways with Julia. We saw some cool graffiti (including Goonies graffiti), saw some mosaics in the Subway tunnels, talked about how if the Subway was built now they would never spend the money to make it so cool looking in the tunnels, and then headed back to the Flux Factory. I got an official tour of the place and said hi to a bunch of nice artsy people. Then as I am known to do, I go to sleep early in amazing cities.* In this case it was about 11 o'clock. It was a long day. Give me a break bastages.

*One time in Amsterdam I went to see the movie 'Bedazzled' starring Brendan Frazier and then went to sleep in our hostel before 10 o'clock. Yeah I know. I know how to partay.

Day 5 (6 & 7): This was not my favorite day, but still not too bad. I woke up and looked out the window to see a fresh $45 street cleaning parking ticket on my car. Shit. I then drove through Manhattan and out to New Jersey and eventually Pennsylvania. I don't reccommend doing this drive. It is not fun. Eventually I made it to Chalfont, PA to have some lunch with my friend Amelie. I almost met her bebe, but she was sleeping and Mike (her hubby) looked like he would not be happy if she woke up. We ate a delicious Indian buffet.

Then I drove some more and finally ended up in Baltimore to hang with Dan and Jeannie for the weekend. Now since I am tired of writing I am going to plagerize the Baltimore section from DOB's blog (told from his perspective):


After driving through a bit of traffic downtown (apparently there was some sort of anime/Japanese pop culture convention going on -- lots of youngish people walking around in strange costumes) I made it home and the Jeanners and Jeffrey and I got some tasty burgers, and the waiter made fun of Jeff for getting his sans onions. Headed home and went to bed after a long day.

A slow start to Saturday morning, but we had a nice breakfast with fruit and biscuits and eggs 'n fake sausage. Then headed out to the Hamilton street fest, which consisted mainly of food booths and overpriced crafts and clothes, and three music stages set up -- two with bands and one DJ area back in an alley. There was also a classic-car auto show going on, and J-Dog, Jeff and I found the dipstick on many classic cars. Jeannie had a tasty ice treat made by a man named Jiggy. Jeff and I were silently panhandled by a man with '$1.00' written on a piece of tiny scrap paper. After we'd had our fill of the street fest we headed out west towards Catonsville, checked out the Patapsco Valley State Park, where we hiked and saw a deer, a log teepee, a trail marked by strips of a wife beater, a train tunnel, a woman with a wiggly butt and too many water bottles, shirtless hooligans, and post-apocalyptic abandoned factories with open dumpsters. Leaving the park, we checked out the main street of Catonsville, which it turns out shuts down at 6pm. Except for a large antique store that we proceeded to fill up with our farts. I say we because, although I participated, it wasn't just me. Didn't feel like eating in Catonsville, so we headed home. Saw a handmade sign on the side of Route 40 that said "HOBO'S CRABS." Not sure exactly what they were selling. Got home, I made a stir-fry and G&T's and we taught Jeff how to play Carcassonne. A fairly low-key evening. Sunday morning, repeat breakfast w/ biscuits, eggs, etc. then headed downtown to Sunday-morning market. Kept our eyes peeled for human poop. On the ground, not for sale. Left the market and walked around Fell's Point, ducked into a bike store, brushed off a street magician, bought cheap Tom Waits CD's at the Soundgarden. Drove to the Inner Harbor where we checked out Federal Hill, walked around, saw some more folks in anime costumes, loaded up on maps, and ate frozen custard. Rushed off to Towson to pick up our CSA vegetables and then headed home where we lounged on the porch, ate mini-pizzas and watched a squirrel with a broken tail. Then it was time for me to head to work and the Jeanners to give J. a lift to the airport.

The end of DOB's section.

After I was dropped off at the airport I met a pretty famous person. Raplph Nader. He was signing books at a book store in the airport. I decided that I don't talk to important influential figures very often so I should go talk to him. We talked for a good few minutes about the country, my job, prison and roller derby. He was very easy to talk to and actually pretty cool for a septuagenarian.

Shout outs:

Casey for being an awesome, smart, funny and hot wife.
Chelsea for watching the puppies while we were gone.
My mom & dad for driving us to and from the airport.
Dan & Jeannie for being awesome and hanging out with me in Baltimore.
Nick Normal for letting me crash in NYC and showing me around queens.
Julia for hanging out in NYC.
Amelie for having lunch with me.
Maine people for talking funny.

I'm hoping to get a Travel Channel Show based on this blog entry. Everyone write to them and tell them. Please?

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Yeast Lords & Infections

"I have a yeast infection."

That is a quote from Wicket, my dog, in case you were wondering. I can't believe you thought it was me that said that. Peanut, the dog, is usually the one who costs me money, but Wicket wanted a turn this time. She cost me $148 because she decided to get a yeast infection in her ear. What a bitch!!!!

Speaking of yeast, have you ever seen the movie 'Gentleman Broncos'? It is very strange, but likable. It is about this home-schooled kid who writes his own sci-fi novels. The main one in the movie was called 'Yeast Lords.' Here is a picture:

It was weird.

Me and the Missus took 2 days off last week and had a great time. We went to Johnson's Shut Ins State Park on Wednesday and Hurricane Harbor (Six Flags Water Park) on Thursday. Woo Swimming. I got a little sunburn, but it was worth it.

Johnson's Shut Ins was the place that was mostly destroyed 5 years ago when a reservoir broke. Now it is open and operational again. It was a fun time on a hot day.

Here is a quote from some little kids that were waiting behind us in line for one of the water-slides at Hurricane Harbor:

"Do you know who the gayest fag in our school is?"

So there is that.

Have a great day.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


Well well.

Welcome June. I have been neglecting you with my incredible wit for far too long.

Here are some Roller Derby names that I have thought of recently in case anyone needs one:

Marge Urine
Jeane Shorts
Jean Sharts

Yesterday I was really feeling proactive. I had heard that the Department of Agriculture and Department of Health and Human Services were about to release some new dietary guidelines. As many of you know I am a very busy person and I can't be bothered to wait for a report to come out before making sweeping life changes. It turns out that I should have waited because my assumptions on the new report were drastically off base.

I was under the impression that they wanted you to eat: granola bars that had been in your hot car for breakfast, coffee, Healthy Choice microwave lunch bowls for lunch, and cookies, Cheetos & Chocolate brownie frozen yogurt for dinner.

It turns out that the new report is actually in favor of "slashing salt and fat, increasing vegetables and exercise." Who could have seen that coming? Well I think that I will finish off 2010 with my plan and then switch to the Government's plan in January. Well not January 1st because I'll still be partying. Oh and the 2nd is on a Sunday and you can't start something so important on a Sunday. January 3rd it is.

But seriously folks, with the exception of yesterday I have been doing a pretty good job eating and exercising. I have tried to switch up the routines as to not get bored: Walking, biking, weights, Boot Camp class at work, Some crazy TRX class where you do exercises with your own body weight...... It seems to be working for now. I moved a belt loop in the right direction.

My mom called and told me that I should be a personal trainer. She thinks that I have a good personality for working with people like that. I told her that she is probably right and that would be fun, but I think you actually have to be in good shape to be a credible personal trainer. Maybe someday.

A lot of people have been complaining about the crazy horns (vuvuzela) at the world cup that sound like a swarm of locusts, but I think they are awesome. It creates a cool atmosphere. It makes you feel like this futbol match determines whether or not the world explodes. Pretty bad ass.

Did I mention that my dog Wicket bit a baby Possum in half a few weeks ago? Well she did. It was gross and I had to pick up the pieces with two empty pizza boxes and put it in the dumpster. I think that my special lady friend might have got the worse end of the cleanup though. Wicket came in the house with her mouth dripping with her frothy excitement and baby possum blood. Gross.

Is that the proper mental image to end a blog entry with?

How about this:

Look forward to an upcoming blog about Angels. It will be epic.

Thursday, May 27, 2010


It is so nice to go on a trip where the weather is nicer than where you live, and you don't almost die from a flood. Maybe I'm just getting picky in my old age.

Some highlights of the trip:

- Ate some good food, but not too much due to our many Roller Derby commitments. Although somehow I gained like 6 pounds. That is not a joke. 6 pounds. Luckily I have already lost 3.5 of those and I have made a new commitment to eating better and exercising more consistently. If you see me eating shit, or sitting on the couch then punch me in the arm (my face* does not need any damage).

The first good place we ate was Riviera Maya. It had a lot of vegetarian options and I ate some plantain/rice/cheese/avocado dish. It was pretty tasty. The afterparty was at a microbrewery called the Horny Goat. It was fine, but they have tater tots which is one of my favorite forms of potatoes. The last place was called Beans & Barley. It is a small grocery store & restaurant. It was simple but good. I had a burrito, coffee and key lime pie.

- The Roller Derby was good. There were 10 bouts per day and I probably saw at least parts of most of them. ARRG came away with a 2-1 record. It is nice to get back on the winning track. The bout against Burning River of Cleveland was the most complete and controlled game I have ever seen us play. I wish that Casey could have played, but she says her knee is starting to feel better.

The venue got hot and sweaty on Sunday, but I can't complain too much because it was in the 90s in St. Louie. They had a sweet pinball game there (World Cup) which helped some slower moments.

- The aforementioned afterparty was pretty good. I got to visit with some old friends from Omaha & St. Louis. Oh and we had 2 shakeweights. Yes shakeweights. Towards the end of the night I definitely felt like a creep because most people I knew were gone and it was only roller ladies left over. I tried to occupy myself as long as I could. Old Old Old.

That's all I got.

*Speaking of my face....I shaved my beard off. This is the first time I have been clean shaven since October. I needed a trim and I just figured what the heck. I realized that I am not a fan of my face and I think I will start a beard again. I just need to keep up with trimming it more often. I guess it is nice to know that I can go from looking 31 to 13 in an instant just by shaving.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Whoomp Here it is

Wowee I am worn out. We just finished a week of birthday festivities for my special lady friend and I need a rest (She was 19 when we started dating and now she is 29 (old)). Happy Birthday!!! The rest is not coming anytime soon though, but so be it. (The biggest distraction to my rest is when certain people come to my house and try to take over my couch and eat my food).

The highlights of the last week:

BYOJJ Partay. This partay was epic for many reasons. It had dancing, jello shots, cake beards, cops, dogs, cats, starburst, awesome costumes and so much more. Call me lame, but I love a theme partay and an excuse to dress up like a fool. I got a sweet jacket on clearance at sports authority, some new sweatbands, short shorts under my regular shorts for 'extra special surprise reveal moments' and some calf high striped socks. Way to go Courtney for throwing a theme birthday partay (especially one that I can walk to).

For some reason I can't remember what I did on Saturday.....Ok now that I've checked my online banking and text messages I've remembered. It was a pretty slow day consisting of rain, long dog walks, Macklind Days (street fair about a mile from our house), and Iron Man 2. Even though it was not optimal weather Macklind Days seemed pretty well attended. We also went last year and it is a pretty fun laid back time. It also got me off my ass and motivated me to let the doggies get some exercise. I went into Iron Man 2 with low expectations because Karista was let down by it, but I must say that it was very enjoyable. Karista must just have some problems that she needs to get over :). The action was pretty bad-ass and the story was good enough to bring us to the action. Speaking of the story...I heard that both Iron Man 1 & 2 did not really have a script. They just worked out the details as they shot the film. I think that is pretty cool. I also have a soft spot for Mickey Rourke and a hard spot for Scarlett Johansson.

Sunday I did a lot of laundry and watched about 8 episodes of the show 'Party Down' on Netflix. If you have not watched it you should check it out. It is definitely my kind of humor. It is a lot of the people behind Wet Hot American Summer and some of the recent funny movies. Fred Savage is the director. Yes, that Fred Savage. Is that a selling point? After that The sHadow took Casey out for her birthday to Aya Sophia. We had always meant to check it out, but never had for some reason. I am glad we did. I don't remember what everyone got, but I got Musaka which is an eggplant/beef/cheese/red sauce dish that was unbelievable. I washed it down with some good red wine. Thanks Kris!!!

That brings me to a very important discovery that I made recently about wine.

I enjoy and appreciate wine, but I don't respect it.

I don't have a problem with you if you are a wine snob, but I am just not one and will never be. I know when wine is good and when it is bad. I reserve the right to drink wine right out of the bottle. I reserve the right to drink wine out of a mason jar or pint glass. I also reserve the right to fill my wine glass, mason jar or pint glass to the very top. If it is good then drink it before someone else can. That is all.

Monday was the big day for the birthday girl. She tried to eat 29 desserts, but came up short. It wasn't for lack of trying. She had cake & Kit kats for breakfast. Some m&ms for a snack. Adriana's and gooey butter cake for lunch. Had a crepe for another snack. Had a great dinner at 1111 Mississippi that included cheesecake. The night ended up at the Silver Ballroom where she had some shots that could be designated as dessert. They were called Martian Pie. They were green with whipped cream and they tasted like coconut suntan lotion. Finally she had some cookies shaped like watermelons. That brings my count to: 10 desserts. Not too shabby.

Side note: I love playing pinball.

Side note 2: Why do I feel so emotionally drained at the end of Benjamin Button? Am I scared of getting dementia, or is the situation so odd that I don't know how to feel.

Side note 3: We are going to Milwaukee for the weekend for a Roller Derby tournament. Unfortunately my special newly 29 year old lady is still out with a knee injury, but it should be fun. I have never been there. What should we do/eat/see?

Monday, May 10, 2010

Cinco de Miracle Whip

Damn. I suck at blogging again. I told myself that I would not let it go this long again, but what did I really expect? I need a manager. Someone to yell at me when I am too lazy of a web blogger. Is it a coincidence that a lot of things have gone to shit since my last posts? Yes. Yes it is. I am going to put down the date that I meant to write about certain topics next to the topic. Please put yourself in a mental time machine when reading said topics. Thanks!!

1. 5/10/2010. Is this pizza awesome or what?
Are there places that specialize in custom pizza shapes? There should be. In the words of Nick Normal: PREAM Pizza Rules Everything Around Me - Get the Slice. Pizza Pizza Slice Y'all

2. 4/19/2010 Had a quick trip to Cincinnati with the ladies of ARRG. It was a pretty fun trip and I made a few realizations.

a. The Cinci Rollergirls have a super awesome venue for Roller Derby: The Cincinnati Gardens. They have tons of seats, tailgating is encouraged, ample parking, they have Chick Fil A sandwiches for sale, and the freaking Beatles once played there. Ahhh If only the Arena hadn't been blowed up here in STL. It seems like the other viable Roller Derby venues in the city are both owned by SLU: Bauman-Eberhardt Center (holds 2200 up top, but might only have a basketball playing surface) and the Chaifetz Arena which holds 10,600 (awesome, but probably 1 bazillion dollars to rent/use).

b. People in Saint Louis are nice. At first I thought that maybe people/fans in Cinci were super assholes, but the more places I go the more I realize that people in STL are just super nice. We don't boo people unless they deserve to be booed.

3. 4/20/2010 Woooooo 420. Happy Birthday to little Oscar and big Sean. I will always remember your weed smokin birthdays.

4. 4/28/2010 I could not have even written this on my home computer on 4/28 because I got many computer virus' and spyware. The lesson is: Don't get a virus. It can ruin your evening.

5. 5/5/5010 I went to 3 Mexican restaurants on Cinco de Mayo. What does that make me? A drunk American. It was fun though.

I started this post days ago, and it is not interesting or funny so I want to end it now.

Do you know which are my two favorite Smurfs?
If you guessed Jokey and Grouchy you were right. Although Vanity and Brainy are pretty good too. Did you know that Paul Reubens (Pee Wee Hermann) is playing Jokey in an upcoming CGI Smurfs movie? Woah.

Look I posted something.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

It has been a while

It has been a while since I posted and I'm sure all 3 of my followers are tired of seeing Ricky Martin on the front page.

I still don't have much to say. My mind is mushy.

I did have a strange dream last night. This is kind of a big deal to me because I usually never remember my dreams. I told Casey the dream and she was unimpressed.

So I was wondering around a large office building in the middle of the night. There were still people there, but they were just standing around dispersed throughout the place. Eventually I walked into a bathroom and someone hit the button on the hand dryer. It was super loud and I did not like it. I started running away, but quickly ran into a roadblock. It was the Duke men's head basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski , but not completely. It was his head, but the body was that of a pro wrestler. Speedo and some arm bands ala the Ultimate Warrior. I started to run away from him as the hand dryer got louder and louder.

Then I woke up and I must have slept on the TV remote, because the TV had loud static coming from it. Did the TV cause my dream, or did my dream cause the TV to be loud and staticy?

How bout that?

In other news: I'm going to Cincinnati for the weekend. It will be very brief and full of Roller Derby. It better be damned good too. So far I am missing out on a Cardinals/Mets game on Friday and Captured! By Robots on Saturday.

I am not good at spelling Cincinnati, but now I have the hang of it. I have never been there before, but I have heard nothing but bad things about it.

I love you.

Monday, March 29, 2010


Does this mean that he could be straight in real life (offline), but he only goes to gay chat rooms and looks at gay internet porn?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


I like BET's St. Patrick's day programming:

Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood

Can you believe that it stars Willow* and a member of ONYX? I wish that those 2 would have hit it off on this movie set and put out a hip hop album. I'm just going to assume that they did and not look it up. Looking up facts can only disappoint you.

Their first album would be called Bacdafucup: Leprechaun 2 the Hood
You don't want to know how long it took me to make that using Microsoft Paint.

* Is Warwick Davis the highest grossing dwarf in movies? I'll look into it. He is in so many good ones and successful ones (not including Leprechaun). Star Wars, Willow, Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, etc.... I now think that St. Patrick's day should be replaced with Warwick Davis day.

9 years ago today I was in an Irish Pub in Italy.

Smarty McFly

Monday, March 15, 2010

Cool Water

I had a very animalcentric weekend. I was the only human around for most of the weekend, but I was in charge of my two dogs as well as bring your own jock jam's dog and cat.

I was like the dog whisperer, but better because there was a cat too. The dog whispered would freak out if another type of animal was introduced to his pack, but not me. Other animals could sense the grand animal power that I possessed as I walked between our two houses. Birds tried to perch on my shoulder and a parade of rats led me through the streets of south city. (OK that last part didn't happen, but I did also rescue two neighbor dogs who had gotten out of their yard).

A good time was had by all.

I also have a few observations from watching Animal Planet on Saturday.

1. Anytime I hear Sarah McLachlan I think of sick animals. It is a good thing that I could care less about her, because her voice is forever married to images of abused/neglected animals on an ASPCA commercial asking us to donate money. I don't know what I would do if they decided to use Journey or Bel Biv Devoe to get us to donate to suffering animals. I don't think I could ever listen to music again. I would just break down and cry every time I went out or turned the radio on.

I was going to put a link, but that was just way too depressing. How about this?

2. There are some news stories/quiz questions that are appropriate to get you to tune in after the commercial break to see the answer. This is not one of them:

How do you treat your dog for heat stroke?

a. Cool Water
b. Warm water
c. Ice water

Tune in after the break for the answer.

Now I know it is a stretch to think that your dog would come in from spending 10 hours in 120 degree heat right as this question came up on animal planet, but on the off chance that they do is it right to make them wait another 3 minutes to be treated?

Come on animal planet. Use your brains. You can use a teaser/quiz question like:

Which animal would win in a fight with a velociraptor?

a. Rhino
b. Elephant
c. Hamster

(the answer is none of the above)

The odds of you being approached by a velociraptor while on a leisurely walk through the park with your Rhino, Elephant and Hamster are much smaller than the odds of your dog getting heat stroke.

On another note I would like to shout out to Johnnie, XXXmas, Little Nicholas, Kevin and the Birdman for making my quick trip to Denver so enjoyable.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Has Spring Sprang?

Yesterday was possibly the best day of the year in St. Louis (weather wise). I don't mean 2010 up until now, but most likely the whole year. Here are the reasons why:

1. It was unexpected and that made it extra special. It was not unlike cleaning out your freezer and finding a JELL-O pudding pop that you had forgotten about. In this scenario the act of cleaning out the freezer = the dead of winter, and the JELL-O pudding pop = nice weather. I also don't mean the JELL-O pudding pops you can go out and buy today, but the original larger more delicious treats of my childhood. So on further thought the freezer is like a time machine to better times. OK so update on the scenario:

The Freezer = window to carefree days of childhood
The act of cleaning out the freezer = the dead of winter
The JELL-O pudding pop = nice weather

Now that I think about it some more I'm not sure if it is the time traveling freezer or the original JELL-O pudding pop that truly represents the carefree days of childhood. I think that the JELL-O pudding pop has to represent both the current nice weather and the actual carefree days of a childhood summer.

The Freezer = window to carefree days of childhood
The act of cleaning out the freezer = the dead of winter
The JELL-O pudding pop = nice weather (currently)
The JELL-O pudding pop = the carefree days of childhood in the summer time

(neither of these kids are me, nor do I know them)

2. Sun is nice.

Although yesterday was very nice it also made me remember the things I don't like so much about spring.

1. It will probably rain a lot. The main reason I am against this is that my dogs have trashed the back yard and there are a few muddy spots. Therefore I will have to wipe their paws off every time they come inside. ( I know my life is rough).
2. The return of yard work.
3. Mosquitoes - The bane of my existence. If anyone knows how to make them all die then please let me know.

I need to be more positive.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Holy Shit!!! Stop what you are doing and look at this

Please take a look at the Ad you see above. Does someone at Schnucks really think that whipped topping for .69 is going to get people into the store that otherwise would not go? Really? I could maybe understand if it was around a major holiday like Thanksgiving or Flag Day, but March 4th? St. Patrick's day is coming soon, but guess what....the whipped topping is not even green.*

* Actually I'm only complaining because I just stocked up on whipped topping last week. I feel like a fool because I bought 30 tubs of whipped topping and wasted $25.20 (estimated savings based on .84 savings per carton) of my hard earned money.

Keeping on the subject of food, here are some quick reviews of some new places I have tried out recently:

1. Friendly's Sports Bar (to watch the Gold Medal USA vs Canada Hockey game):

Pros: They had one of those games where you hit a punching bag to see how strong you are. This big dude with a backwards KC Royals hat spent about $20 trying to impress some girl that was wearing shorts and Ugg boots in February. They were also headbutting the machine for about another $20 worth of fun. She was later sitting with him with the KC Royals hat on her head. Damn I wish I had moves like that guy. He is GQ Smooth.

The beer and food specials during games are very good. The food was not exceptional, but I only ordered off the $1.50 menu.

They have a lot of TVs, although none of them were what I would call large.

USA USA - especially tying the game up with less than a minute remaining.

Cons: As a result of the cheap beer most people start to get annoying. Although it was the type of thing that if they were your friends it might be funny, but if you are not with them it was annoying.

They had one of those games where you hit a punching bag to see how strong you are. This big dude with a backwards KC Royals hat spent about $20 trying to impress some girl that was wearing shorts and Ugg boots in February. They were also headbutting the machine for about another $20 worth of fun. She was later sitting with him with the KC Royals hat on her head.


Final rating: Cheap and relatively fun to watch drunks, but better if your team wins.

2. Sammy Scott's

This is a new gourmet/panini/sandwich shop in creve coeur. I decided to try it out for lunch on Monday. It appeared to be everything I would like in a sandwich shop (Gourmet sides, hot sandwiches with interesting toppings and combinations), but it ended up a little bland. It was not bad by any means, but it did not knock my socks off. I think I'll try a different sandwich and give it another try. Oh I got the Cuban sandwich, Mac & cheese and Iced Tea.

Final rating: You should have been honored to be inside me so I wanted you to be better.

3. 5 Guys Burgers and Fries

Hungry Eyes from the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack was on the sound system while I was there.

Final Rating: 12 out of 10**

**The burgers were great, the Cajun fries were good and plentiful. Everything was a little on the pricey side. Without Hungry Eyes the rating would be maybe an 7.5 out of 10. Maybe the closest thing to In-N-Out burger in Saint Louis.

I shouldn't have thought about In-N-Out Burger. I want to fly to the west coast for lunch now.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

What does all this really mean?

How can the month of March be made into a hilarious name like February was made into Feb-bro-ary? I don't think it can so I will give up. I have to do a little photoshop work and I will come up with a new usage of the word/culture of Bro. Just you wait.

Last weekend was interesting. I went to a casino to watch some live music, watched some movies and (including Monday) went to 4 bars for a total of about 14 hours. Wow that seems like a lot. Here are some observations/questions:

1. Why do people go to casinos?

-There are always so many damn people at casinos and I don't quite understand it. The parking always seems terrible, the food is never that good (but there is a lot of it) and recognizable bands that play there are washed up. What is the draw? Free second hand smoke? Free soda?

*While at the casino I thought of a great idea for roller derby. Have the next casino built have a roller derby arena inside. Think about it. There are already tons of people at casinos with money burning a hole in their pocket. You have the sport, the hotel, the after party all in the same building. Let's make it happen.

2. Why do I love sports, but hate the people at sports bars?

-This might just be that I am annoyed by people in general. Sports bars have people.

3. If you had to drink one of the following what would it be any why?

Option A: A glass of lukewarm Hot Tub water (origins unknown).
Option B: A glass of fresh delicious water......that has three used band aids in it (band aid origins unknown).
Option C: Cyanide Kool Aid.

Where do you think the following text came from?:

Pregnant Bitches: Offer 50% more during pregnancy.
Lactating Bitches: Offer at least 2 to 3 times the normal amount of food.

Hint: Adult Formula is also involved.

Answer: Wicket and Peanut's dog food.

Tonight I'm going to eat steak with my special lady friend. I'm excited.

Do you think this post was unstructured and random? You were right. Shut up.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Should I have called the police?

I went to Schnucks to pick some things up on my lunch break. Here is what the guy in front of me in the checkout line bought:

- 1 steak
- A dozen eggs
- 4 baby cheese wheels
- 3 gun magazines

What do I have to do to get on the TV?

I am 31 and I have lived in St. Louis for about 85% of that time and yet I don't recall ever being on TV. My special lady friend has lived here for 8 years and she is now on TV on a monthly basis. What gives? I guess I have to start walking around town with no pants or do something to attract the media. I'll work on it, but I'm open to your suggestions.

Here is Casey getting tattooed by Lauren (Ana Warpath is her Roller Derby name but I like to call her Anal Wart Bath). Is it just me or should you start getting your tattoo removed/covered up immediately if you get the Beast from Beauty and the Beast? Here are the steps to getting a Beauty and the Beast tattoo:

1. Get tattoo
2. Get tattoo removed/covered up/burnt off

At least be creative if you are going to get a terrible tattoo. Like the guy who got the elephant tattoo on his crotch with his junk playing the role of the trunk. Priceless.

Ok here are the goods:

I can't get the video to embed so here is a link:,0,3265442.story

Monday, February 15, 2010

Olympic Juggalos

So the Mrs and I were watching some Olympic figure skating last night after the trip back from Memphis (not my choice), and I saw some faces that looked really familiar. They were German figure skaters dressed as clowns skating to the song 'send in the clowns'. They also each had a single tear drop tattoo. I was struggling to think of who they might be.

Hmmmm... I've been to Germany, but not really. I slept in a train while moving through Germany in 2001. There were no opportunities to meet any clowns on that trip.

I've been to many many jails and prisons for my previous employer and saw many people with many tattoos. I even remember a lot of tear drop tattoos (which I'm sure I don't have to tell you means they murdered someone), but I would have remembered if they were clowns.

I went to the fridge to get a cold Faygo soda and it all came to me. The Insane Clown Posse was now in the Olympics and skating for Germany. It all makes sense now thanks!

They are currently 2nd in the medal standings so please go to their web site and encourage them.

On second thought you probably shouldn't because they are terrible.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Finally someone who knows how to do things is stealing the ideas I have but don't tell anyone

Well I might have told Casey some of my great ideas in the past, but she is rarely listening to me. I have to blow in her face or throw things at her to get her attention.

There are two great ideas I have talked about (at least in my head) for a long time.

1. The first one is for radio stations to have the audio for television programs available on them as they are being broadcast. For instance if you are watching Family Guy and have to jump in the car and go to Lamaze class or scrapbook club. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to continue to listen to the audio of the Family Guy? I know this would not work for all shows, but I would like it. This probably means nothing to people who have fancy audio visual systems in their car, but I think it would be nice to listen to TV instead of listen to most things on the radio.

2. Underoos for adults. I know there are cartoon boxers that have been available forever, but it is not the same as when you had a new pair of underoos as a child. This again might only appeal to the small segment of the population who will never feel like an adult. I was surprised that these didn't exist as of a few years ago and wanted to do something about it, but I am lazy and was sure that it would have been copyright nightmare to actually develop this.

I don't think that #1 will probably ever come true, but guess what Target had today:

I apologize for not modeling them myself, but I don't think you are ready for that.

They cost more than I would like, but it took restraint to only buy 3 pairs. There was also Superman and Ironman.


Here is a picture of Wicket from the 5-8 inch Tsnownami that we had last month. Not to be confused with the 2-5 inch Sleetastrophe we had a few days ago. It is sometimes hard to get pictures of Wicket so Peanut gets all the press, but here is a great shot of Wicket in her favorite type of weather.

2 posts in a row, can you believe it?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Yorick and Ampersand

I kind of love snow. It did let me down last night in that it didn't snow enough to get me a free work from home day, but I forgive you snow.

Here is the number one thing that I (and anyone with a web log) promise: I will post here more regularly. I have to spread all of this comedic joy to the rest of the world. It is not fair for me to only share with Peanut, Wicket and Casey (in that order). In my defense January was uber busy at work. I pretty much worked everyday in January. I am not complaining, but stating the facts.

Things I am looking forward to:

1. Trip to Denver in March to hang with Johnnie and see the Nuggets.

2. Playing Bioshock 2. I almost went out at midnight last night to pick up my reserved copy, but I decided against it because it was snowing.

3. A 24 inch snowstorm and snowball fight in downtown saint louis. Ok this one will probably not happen, but if DC can have fun why can't we?

4. Possibly convincing the ARRG bus to stop by Lambert's home of throwed rolls in Sikeston on the way home from Memphis.

Things I have done recently that totally ruled:

1. Finished reading the whole series of Y: The Last Man. Holy shit was this good. Everyone should go read this. It made me feel emotions which I don't usually do. Really great story, great art and as an extra bonus there are some boobs. Cartoon boobs!

2. I have been trying to eat at new places when I go out to eat. This has been a total success so far. I have been to:

a. The Blues City Deli

The Missus and I went on a Saturday for lunch and it was packed. The whole place is about the size of my living room. Needless to say, we were getting our food to go. There was a band playing in the front of the place, the order counter at the back and a few tables full of mostly drunk couples in their 40s-50s in the middle. The sides were filled with people either waiting to order or people waiting to get their food. Anyway...the place had a great vibe. It makes you feel good just to be standing in there. We ordered a couple of delicious sloppy sandwiches, some chips and some sodas. I think my favorite thing about the place is that they had a bunch of regional sodas from all over the place. A lot of them were made with real sugar too. I had a Black Cherry soda and Casey had a Strawberry Cream. Hers tasted like you were drinking cotton candy. Mine tasted great, but had as much sugar as a bag of sugar. Overall I give it a: Damn that was good.

b. Pizza-A-Go-Go

The story to this one is not as long which will probably make everyone happy. We wanted some pizza and I had heard about this place for a while so I thought I'd try it out. We ordered a pizza with Bacon and Black Olives to go. I picked it up and the place was full of regular folks who seemed to love hockey. I liked the pizza more than Casey did, but what does she know anyway? The crust was thin and crisp with ample topping coverage. My only issue is that their toothpicks were not quality toothpicks. I broke a spike of toothpick off in my gums on the drive home. I needed tweezers to get it out. Overall I give it a: That Pizza was good, but my gums hurt.

c. El Paisano

I ate here with Casey and Chelsea. That means this review would be the same at just about any restaurant. Chelsea was on her iPhone the whole time and Casey was twittering or texting the whole time. The food was good solid Mexican. Their biggest plus is that they are open on Sunday unlike all the other Mexican restaurants that love Jesus too much to work on Sunday. Overall I give it a: That is tasty Sunday Mexican food, but I wish these bitches would get off their phones.

d. Tucker's Place

So Logan was about to leave the US to go to India the next day. He needed a beef injection. After I gave him that we decided to go eat a steak. Hiyo. Besides Casey and I going on South County dates to the Texas Roadhouse I don't eat steak all that often. I had heard of Tucker's Place before and it was in Soulard so I thought it was worth a try. I was a little nervous that it would be a frat boy hangout, but was relieved that it was just a normal person place. Logan, Ben and I got a sweet spot right next to the fireplace. Thanks pregnant hostess!! We then ate one of the more delicious steaks I've had in recent memory. Logan and I went with the special which was a 16oz Filet Mignon wrapped in Bacon. I got grilled veggies and salad with it. The salad was not spectacular, but there was Bacon on top of that as well. The steak was just soooo satisfying. The veggies were also a nice compliment to the overwhelming beefiness. Ahh I like thinking about this moment. Overall I give it a: Damn that is some good ass meat and the place is so comfy that I want to take a nap on the floor afterwards.

e. and maybe even some more places I can't remember.

3. Am I still writing? Is anyone still reading? If you are still reading, please post a comment with your favorite John Goodman movie. (Hint: King Ralph).

A few final thoughts:

I. I have said this before, but I am not capable of shopping/choosing the appropriate things to eat. Last Friday is a prime example of my failure at this. I started out doing great while I was at work. I had some skim milk, coffee, high fiber oatmeal, Healthy Choice Chicken Margerita and an apple. This was about 650 calories or so.

Then I left work and all hell broke loose. I had a side by side strawberry/chocolate shake, Double Steakburger w/cheese, french fries, 1 bag of Stacy's cheese pita chips and half a carton of Walgreens Bear Claw ice cream. These brought my daily calorie total to at least 4146 calories. Am I a toddler with no self control? Yes. The answer is yes.

II. Stacy's Pita Chips should be outlawed. They are too good. Every single kind. A bag is like 1000 calories, but I always eat the whole thing.

III. I have completed 2 weeks of P90X which is the only thing keeping me out of the morbidly obese category. Besides that slip up on Friday I have been doing pretty well with eating and exercising. My pecs are so juiced.

IV. How bout ARRG? I am very proud of the Arch Rival Roller Girls lately. They have had two consecutive sellouts and there is a lot of buzz about them around town. They have been doing a great job marketing themselves and they are backing it up with some fun exciting Roller Derby action. I was getting a little worried last year when the attendance was falling a little, but there has been a big burst lately. Let's hope it keeps up!!

Thursday, February 4, 2010


I will put up a real post soon because I am slowly crawling out of my annual January/W-2 induced haze.

I got rid of some links to blogs that are not updated anymore. I added a link to my friend Courtney's new blog Bring Your Own Jock Jams. I was a little unsure if I should give her my seal of approval (because she is from Idaho), but she seems to hurt herself a lot which should be entertaining. Take a look and enjoy.


I'm sorry it took me so long to welcome everyone to Feb-bro-ary.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Does it make me old if I enjoyed New Year's Day brunch at my house as much if not more than NYE? Does it make me even older that I enjoy sitting in my snuggie eating werther's originals and spice drops more than New Year's Day brunch (for the record I don't have a snuggie even though there are 3 or 4 at my house at a given moment)(I also enjoys werther's originals but not spice drops)?

I did enjoy January 1st brunch a lot. There were a lot of people at our house eating breakfast food and drinking various interpretations of mimosas. We watched sports/bad movies on tv, played wii and generally ate and made each other laugh. Good times. I don't wish to take anything away from the NYE activities, but they were a little more subdued because the old bag (I mean healthy, beautiful and vibrant but with the immune system of a premature albino baby) was sick again. We had some sushi and thai food, then hung out at Anne's briefly before coming home relatively early (1ish).

So what has been different so far this year? Not much yet. It is cold as fuck. I don't really mind that much, but it makes going outside or leaving the house in general less appealing. I guess I can try to finish Dexter season 4, play some video games, read, play guitar, work out etc. i like those things. It is kind of sad, but now that the QPTB reunion has come and gone I am lacking any real longish term goals. Any ideas? I guess I have house fixing/remodeling goals and fitness goals, but nothing that gets my fire going when I think about it.

My damn feet still hurt. I have been trying to run a few times a week and while it does not make my feet hurt more, it does not help either. I gave up on shoe inserts and the Vibram 5 finger frog shoes seem to help, but maybe I should do some not running for a longer period. I have been wearing shoes in the cold instead of the 5finger frog shoes, but yesterday I bought some special socks so maybe I will see how that goes. Man do they look ridiculous. I went into REI for the first time yesterday to buy said special socks. It is a nice store, but the people who work there are weird. It seemed like the REI corporate office went to Boulder Colorado and picked up anyone hitchhiking and gave them a job at REI.

Well I am going to get back to staring at my new 2010 Desk Calendar. What is it you might ask? Well is is called Cat Naps and each day features a kitten or group of kittens (I think it is called a Murder of Kittens) sleeping.