Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Should I have called the police?

I went to Schnucks to pick some things up on my lunch break. Here is what the guy in front of me in the checkout line bought:

- 1 steak
- A dozen eggs
- 4 baby cheese wheels
- 3 gun magazines

What do I have to do to get on the TV?

I am 31 and I have lived in St. Louis for about 85% of that time and yet I don't recall ever being on TV. My special lady friend has lived here for 8 years and she is now on TV on a monthly basis. What gives? I guess I have to start walking around town with no pants or do something to attract the media. I'll work on it, but I'm open to your suggestions.

Here is Casey getting tattooed by Lauren (Ana Warpath is her Roller Derby name but I like to call her Anal Wart Bath). Is it just me or should you start getting your tattoo removed/covered up immediately if you get the Beast from Beauty and the Beast? Here are the steps to getting a Beauty and the Beast tattoo:

1. Get tattoo
2. Get tattoo removed/covered up/burnt off

At least be creative if you are going to get a terrible tattoo. Like the guy who got the elephant tattoo on his crotch with his junk playing the role of the trunk. Priceless.

Ok here are the goods:

I can't get the video to embed so here is a link:,0,3265442.story

Monday, February 15, 2010

Olympic Juggalos

So the Mrs and I were watching some Olympic figure skating last night after the trip back from Memphis (not my choice), and I saw some faces that looked really familiar. They were German figure skaters dressed as clowns skating to the song 'send in the clowns'. They also each had a single tear drop tattoo. I was struggling to think of who they might be.

Hmmmm... I've been to Germany, but not really. I slept in a train while moving through Germany in 2001. There were no opportunities to meet any clowns on that trip.

I've been to many many jails and prisons for my previous employer and saw many people with many tattoos. I even remember a lot of tear drop tattoos (which I'm sure I don't have to tell you means they murdered someone), but I would have remembered if they were clowns.

I went to the fridge to get a cold Faygo soda and it all came to me. The Insane Clown Posse was now in the Olympics and skating for Germany. It all makes sense now thanks!

They are currently 2nd in the medal standings so please go to their web site and encourage them.

On second thought you probably shouldn't because they are terrible.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Finally someone who knows how to do things is stealing the ideas I have but don't tell anyone

Well I might have told Casey some of my great ideas in the past, but she is rarely listening to me. I have to blow in her face or throw things at her to get her attention.

There are two great ideas I have talked about (at least in my head) for a long time.

1. The first one is for radio stations to have the audio for television programs available on them as they are being broadcast. For instance if you are watching Family Guy and have to jump in the car and go to Lamaze class or scrapbook club. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to continue to listen to the audio of the Family Guy? I know this would not work for all shows, but I would like it. This probably means nothing to people who have fancy audio visual systems in their car, but I think it would be nice to listen to TV instead of listen to most things on the radio.

2. Underoos for adults. I know there are cartoon boxers that have been available forever, but it is not the same as when you had a new pair of underoos as a child. This again might only appeal to the small segment of the population who will never feel like an adult. I was surprised that these didn't exist as of a few years ago and wanted to do something about it, but I am lazy and was sure that it would have been copyright nightmare to actually develop this.

I don't think that #1 will probably ever come true, but guess what Target had today:

I apologize for not modeling them myself, but I don't think you are ready for that.

They cost more than I would like, but it took restraint to only buy 3 pairs. There was also Superman and Ironman.


Here is a picture of Wicket from the 5-8 inch Tsnownami that we had last month. Not to be confused with the 2-5 inch Sleetastrophe we had a few days ago. It is sometimes hard to get pictures of Wicket so Peanut gets all the press, but here is a great shot of Wicket in her favorite type of weather.

2 posts in a row, can you believe it?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Yorick and Ampersand

I kind of love snow. It did let me down last night in that it didn't snow enough to get me a free work from home day, but I forgive you snow.

Here is the number one thing that I (and anyone with a web log) promise: I will post here more regularly. I have to spread all of this comedic joy to the rest of the world. It is not fair for me to only share with Peanut, Wicket and Casey (in that order). In my defense January was uber busy at work. I pretty much worked everyday in January. I am not complaining, but stating the facts.

Things I am looking forward to:

1. Trip to Denver in March to hang with Johnnie and see the Nuggets.

2. Playing Bioshock 2. I almost went out at midnight last night to pick up my reserved copy, but I decided against it because it was snowing.

3. A 24 inch snowstorm and snowball fight in downtown saint louis. Ok this one will probably not happen, but if DC can have fun why can't we?

4. Possibly convincing the ARRG bus to stop by Lambert's home of throwed rolls in Sikeston on the way home from Memphis.

Things I have done recently that totally ruled:

1. Finished reading the whole series of Y: The Last Man. Holy shit was this good. Everyone should go read this. It made me feel emotions which I don't usually do. Really great story, great art and as an extra bonus there are some boobs. Cartoon boobs!

2. I have been trying to eat at new places when I go out to eat. This has been a total success so far. I have been to:

a. The Blues City Deli

The Missus and I went on a Saturday for lunch and it was packed. The whole place is about the size of my living room. Needless to say, we were getting our food to go. There was a band playing in the front of the place, the order counter at the back and a few tables full of mostly drunk couples in their 40s-50s in the middle. The sides were filled with people either waiting to order or people waiting to get their food. Anyway...the place had a great vibe. It makes you feel good just to be standing in there. We ordered a couple of delicious sloppy sandwiches, some chips and some sodas. I think my favorite thing about the place is that they had a bunch of regional sodas from all over the place. A lot of them were made with real sugar too. I had a Black Cherry soda and Casey had a Strawberry Cream. Hers tasted like you were drinking cotton candy. Mine tasted great, but had as much sugar as a bag of sugar. Overall I give it a: Damn that was good.

b. Pizza-A-Go-Go

The story to this one is not as long which will probably make everyone happy. We wanted some pizza and I had heard about this place for a while so I thought I'd try it out. We ordered a pizza with Bacon and Black Olives to go. I picked it up and the place was full of regular folks who seemed to love hockey. I liked the pizza more than Casey did, but what does she know anyway? The crust was thin and crisp with ample topping coverage. My only issue is that their toothpicks were not quality toothpicks. I broke a spike of toothpick off in my gums on the drive home. I needed tweezers to get it out. Overall I give it a: That Pizza was good, but my gums hurt.

c. El Paisano

I ate here with Casey and Chelsea. That means this review would be the same at just about any restaurant. Chelsea was on her iPhone the whole time and Casey was twittering or texting the whole time. The food was good solid Mexican. Their biggest plus is that they are open on Sunday unlike all the other Mexican restaurants that love Jesus too much to work on Sunday. Overall I give it a: That is tasty Sunday Mexican food, but I wish these bitches would get off their phones.

d. Tucker's Place

So Logan was about to leave the US to go to India the next day. He needed a beef injection. After I gave him that we decided to go eat a steak. Hiyo. Besides Casey and I going on South County dates to the Texas Roadhouse I don't eat steak all that often. I had heard of Tucker's Place before and it was in Soulard so I thought it was worth a try. I was a little nervous that it would be a frat boy hangout, but was relieved that it was just a normal person place. Logan, Ben and I got a sweet spot right next to the fireplace. Thanks pregnant hostess!! We then ate one of the more delicious steaks I've had in recent memory. Logan and I went with the special which was a 16oz Filet Mignon wrapped in Bacon. I got grilled veggies and salad with it. The salad was not spectacular, but there was Bacon on top of that as well. The steak was just soooo satisfying. The veggies were also a nice compliment to the overwhelming beefiness. Ahh I like thinking about this moment. Overall I give it a: Damn that is some good ass meat and the place is so comfy that I want to take a nap on the floor afterwards.

e. and maybe even some more places I can't remember.

3. Am I still writing? Is anyone still reading? If you are still reading, please post a comment with your favorite John Goodman movie. (Hint: King Ralph).

A few final thoughts:

I. I have said this before, but I am not capable of shopping/choosing the appropriate things to eat. Last Friday is a prime example of my failure at this. I started out doing great while I was at work. I had some skim milk, coffee, high fiber oatmeal, Healthy Choice Chicken Margerita and an apple. This was about 650 calories or so.

Then I left work and all hell broke loose. I had a side by side strawberry/chocolate shake, Double Steakburger w/cheese, french fries, 1 bag of Stacy's cheese pita chips and half a carton of Walgreens Bear Claw ice cream. These brought my daily calorie total to at least 4146 calories. Am I a toddler with no self control? Yes. The answer is yes.

II. Stacy's Pita Chips should be outlawed. They are too good. Every single kind. A bag is like 1000 calories, but I always eat the whole thing.

III. I have completed 2 weeks of P90X which is the only thing keeping me out of the morbidly obese category. Besides that slip up on Friday I have been doing pretty well with eating and exercising. My pecs are so juiced.

IV. How bout ARRG? I am very proud of the Arch Rival Roller Girls lately. They have had two consecutive sellouts and there is a lot of buzz about them around town. They have been doing a great job marketing themselves and they are backing it up with some fun exciting Roller Derby action. I was getting a little worried last year when the attendance was falling a little, but there has been a big burst lately. Let's hope it keeps up!!

Thursday, February 4, 2010


I will put up a real post soon because I am slowly crawling out of my annual January/W-2 induced haze.

I got rid of some links to blogs that are not updated anymore. I added a link to my friend Courtney's new blog Bring Your Own Jock Jams. I was a little unsure if I should give her my seal of approval (because she is from Idaho), but she seems to hurt herself a lot which should be entertaining. Take a look and enjoy.


I'm sorry it took me so long to welcome everyone to Feb-bro-ary.